A Low Down Dirty Shame Page #5

Are you coming on to me?

Ow! Sh*t!

What the f*** did you do that for?

You're an a**hole, making fun of me!

- You're serious.

- Yes, I am.

Remember the first time we met?

I busted you,

stuffing CDs in your underwear.

Whatever.

I've been feeling this way since then.

I was only 16 and I knew it wouldn't work.

But I am 22, going on 23.

Can't you see

how much I've grown since then?

You're not wearing that trainer no more?

Is everything a f***ing joke to you?

Can't you allow yourself to feel anything?

- Come here.

- Forget you. I ain't coming over there.

Come on. Sit down.

OK.

FYI, I have noticed.

I watched you grow from an adorable

little girl to a beautiful young lady.

You're smart. You're funny.

You love life. Beautiful.

Don't forget sexy.

Very sexy.

Well, what is the problem, Shame?

We have nothing in common.

Oh, how can you sit there

and say something like that?

What about boxing? We both love boxing.

OK.

Who's the greatest heavyweight of all time?

- Tyson.

- The greatest heavyweight of all time?

- Tyson could beat Muhammad Ali?

- That's right.

Tyson can't spell Muhammad Ali.

What the... Wait a minute!

Muhammad Ali can't spell Muhammad Ali.

- Did I show you the tapes of Ali?

- I saw them! They don't mean nothing.

Ali dances around the ring so much,

it's like watching a rerun of ''Soul Train''.

See, now, that's what l'm talking about.

At least you thought about it.

Yeah, I thought about it.

Well, my room-mate won't be home till late,

so the bed is yours if you want.

Your room-mate won't freak out

if she finds a half-naked man in the bed?

Trust me. If my room-mate

finds a half-naked man in the bed,

freaking out

is the last thing girlfriend will do.

Good night, Shame.

Peaches.

I see something has grown

since you was 16.

Hey, girl, I hope you don't mind.

Peaches said I could crash in your room.

My, no, honey! Ain't nothing like

coming home to a warm man in the bed.

- Who the hell are you?

- Ex-squeeze me! This is my room!

- You show me some tits, or die.

- Miss Peaches, you need to come in here!

- Peaches!

- OK, OK. Wait a minute. All right.

Shame, this is my room-mate, Wayman.

Wayman, this is Shame.

- Why didn't you say she was a guy?

- You ain't never asked.

- What was that ''girlfriend'' stuff about?

- Please! ''Girlfriend'' is an expression.

Well, excuse me, ''girlfriend.''

I'm gonna shower

and pretend I'm not in ''The Crying Game''.

He is a cutie-pie! You got to read this article.

This is something else!

- Good morning.

- Good morning, Shame.

You look at me

like you're gonna take a picture.

Peaches? Peaches!

Why do you read that nonsense?

Because it's informative.

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