A Low Down Dirty Shame

1

Oh, here we go.

- Housekeeping!

- Can you spell ''Do not disturb''?

Can you spell Lysol? You better check

your pulse, you might be dead.

Housekeeping!

Well! Work him, girl!

Housekeeping!

Get rid of her.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Good day, gentlemen.

Nice and easy, nobody move.

One by one, put your guns on the table,

nice and slow.

- What do you want?

- I called the Psychic Hotline today.

The lady told me

I could find wealth and happiness here.

I'll be damned, she was right.

She was.

- How much is the insurance paying me?

- Ten thousand dollars.

- There's a million dollars on that table!

- I see.

Jack is a lying son of a b*tch.

Go get the car.

You gonna be all right? I've been doing

my karate and going to the gun range.

Get your karate-kicking gun range ass

in the car, now!

You, over there.

I'm Chun Yung Fat.

Do you know what that means?

Yeah, you come with the egg roll

and miso soup.

Don't f*** with me.

I got fired from the post office.

I could flip out and kill.

You, get that.

- Yeah.

- Let me speak to the big man with the gun.

One day, we will meet again.

Next time, bring some breath mints.

- It's for you.

- Say ''Ah''.

Aaaah!

Don't act like it's your first time.

Shame?

Yo, Shame, you got company, and lots of it.

Up the stairs and east and west elevators.

I'll have a car on the side of the building.

Good looking-out.

If you need back-up, I got my .22 and

my stun gun. We can wreck sh*t! Shame!

You. Nice and slow.

Toss those over to me.

Now, if I bend down to pick those up,

are you gonna try to kill me?

Come on. Be honest.

F***ing A right! I'm gonna kill your ass!

You stupid f***!

Say hi to Arnold.

Sh*t!

You boys aren't gonna make this easy,

are you?

- Gone!

- My men'll find him and whack him.

I'm gonna cut his f***ing balls off!

F***! You're upstairs. You're downstairs.

He's in the stairwell.

- All right, let's go, right now!

- Don't make me 'jack this limo!

Now, I told you, he will be here!

Everybody just chill. Just relax.

Don't make me get rowdy.

It is not a pretty sight.

Over there!

- Will you be joining us for lunch, sir?

- No, I'll have mine to go.

There he is!

ls that the police?

All right, that is it! Let's go.

You ain't got a choice but wait.

He'll be right down here.

Hi, Peaches.

- Now, see, I told you...

- Let me have that.

Driver, let's go.

Let me finish telling the story.

She walks into the street,

she doesn't even look where she's going.

And then bam!

She got hit by a big-ass truck!

- What?

- She was in a coma for a week.

- You're not gonna believe this.

- What? Girl, come on! What?

- She died.

- Oh!

Peaches, don't leave me hanging!

Pick up the phone. Peaches!

- Peaches!

- What? No, I'm here. I'm here.

I just can't believe this is happening to her.

She's such good people.

I mean, look at this. This is so sad.

I'm so sorry.

I know this must be tearing you apart.

This is worse than when James died

on ''Good Times''.

I remember that episode!

Chad, I need to talk to you.

It's important, Chad.

What?

I'm pregnant. And it's yours!

What? Oh, that is it!

You two-timing, can't-get-enough bastard!

I hope your prostate falls out.

I gotta go. I gotta go.

See, you need to stop talking to me

every day.

Get you and Mickey Moon jobs,

so you can get off them county cheques.

- I ain't on no county cheques!

- Call me later.

- That's FEMA I'm getting.

- Yeah, whatever.

Trippin'. Just lazy!

Morning, Shame. How are you feeling?

You haven't been running up my phone bill,

have you?

- No!

- Turn that loud-ass sh*t down, will you?

I cannot do that. The radio station's

having a contest for $10,000,

and today might be my lucky day!

Shame, the least you could do is shave.

- I'm clean.

- You need to wear a sign that says so.

- And why don't you dress up any more?

- Who for? You?

If you took more care of yourself,

somebody besides me could put up with you.

Watch out! I like that freaky sh*t!

Haven't you ever heard of that expression

''Dress for success''?

They're ready to turn off my phone.

They cancelled my credit cards.

About to repossess my car.

I'd say I am dressed for my success.

You need to go to the bank.

They're about to foreclose this place, too.

That would make you homeless,

office-less, Peaches-less.

- You wouldn't work out of a cardboard box?

- Exactly. Mr Gold left this for you.

Why you holding out?

That's what l been waiting on.

Let's see here... What the f*** is this?

''The repairs to the limousine and the

window have been deducted from your fee.''

Peaches... You know that money I owe you?

Save it!

Don't worry about it, Shame.

I got a little money saved up,

so I should be all right.

When I get back on my feet,

I'm gonna kick you down, right?

Please! You got some company down there.

- Hey, Sonny, what's up, man?

- Hey, Shame!

Gimme one sec, I'll be right there.

- What's up, Sonny?

- Hey, Shame, how you doing?

Look at you, looking like new money!

Check you out!

How they treating you in DC?

Well, you know, I miss the streets,

but it's a pay cheque.

- You remember Peaches?

- Hey, how you doing?

- Hangin' in there.

- You still with this bum?

- Yeah, I'm trying to get into heaven.

- And giving me hell all the way!

Come on in, man.

Something to drink? Soda?

Yeah, a soda, and none of that healthy sh*t.

Get the man a soda, will you?

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