A Good Old Fashioned Orgy Page #6

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All right, think it over.

Think it- Everybody, okay.

All right, I get it.

It's gonna hike a while to come

around on this whole orgy idea.

Right? Hero?

No, okay. H, h I

Very good, but go ahead, type it in your

BlackBerrys, pencil it in your notebooks.

Orgy. Orgy.

Orgy. Orgy.

Orgy. Orgy. Orgy.

So, Sue, you think this is how you're

gonna finally sleep with Eric?

What? We dated

in high school.

Come on,

that was ages ago.

You guys never,

you know, did it,

so it's kind of

unfinished business.

Yeah, but I've slept with

like a ton of guys since then,

so this doesn't have

anything to do with it.

Fine, but other

than social awkwardness,

give me one reason.

Oh, very well. How about

I give you several reasons?

Like, oh, I don't know,

chlamydia, the herp,

gonorrhea,

syphilis, papilloma.

The Steve McQueen movie?

No, that's Papillon.

The virus that causes genital warts.

Ugh. Why do you think

of this stuff?

Don't you remember the article my

mom clipped from The New Yorker?

No.

Condoms can't stop it

and it causes cervical cancer.

You don't have a cervix.

I don't know how you could have sex

in front of a room full of people.

I mean, I don't even like

to get naked at the spa.

I'm not saying that this is

gonna be easy for me,

but isn't that what

kind of makes it exciting?

I'm not saying that

it wouldn't be fun,

but it's an orgy.

What's the point of

losing all this weight

if you're not gonna show off

your new bod?

You haven't even worn

your bikini yet.

I still have

5 more pounds.

I think this could help

build your self-esteem.

There's the miracle cure. I'm gonna start turning

my clients onto group sex instead of Zoloft.

We're going to the beach.

At least do that.

It's our last summer.

Let's go to the beach.

Shockingly, I'm gonna pass on the

stroll through the tick-infested dunes.

Dude, I've had

Lyme disease.

It's not a big deal.

It's antibiotics, boom, done.

You know I have a needle phobia.

Okay? I can't go to the doctor.

The puncturing

the veins and the... Ugh.

Okay, whatever.

Enjoy the great indoors.

Yeah. Bye.

Okay.

Ooh, hey, Eric. Uh, could you

grab some sand for my ass crack?

I'll grab some

for your cervix.

Okay. Let's say you dated

four guys in one year,

right, and you slept

with them.

You'd be cool with that?

Totally.

And how many guys

have you slept with this year?

None.

Or the year before.

So really all you're doing

is sleeping with four guys

in, like,

a shorter time frame.

I never really thought

of it that way.

What do you think?

Insane, idiotic

and self-destructive.

Okay, hypothetically.

Mm-hm.

If I did decide to do it,

but at the last minute,

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