A Few Best Men Page #6

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spreadsheet of the proceedings

for you and your colourful companions.

David, where are your friends?

- You got parents?

- Uh, yes.

Oh, you're lucky.

Yeah, my parents disowned me

when I got done for aggravated

assault and battery

at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

I still think about them.

- My parents...

- It's only natural.

(Sniffs)

Can I share with you

something personal?

I've started getting panic attacks.

One minute I'll just be sitting

down real nice and calm

and the next, I don't know, I

feel like I'm gonna sh*t myself

or I'm gonna puke or...

I feel like I'm trapped

in a sauna, you know?

Can't breathe, it's all

sweaty, it's f***ed.

Wow. Wow. Wow.

I don't know what it is but...

(Sighs) I feel like you and I...

..you know, we've got a

really special connection.

Tom!

- Hey, you want to see something cool?

- Yeah!

Wait there.

Can we get out of here, please? This

guy's starting to freak me out.

MIA:
So, gloves off, what do you think?

Shrewd choice, sweet pea...

handsome, sweet, diplomatically quiet.

Yeah, and you know what they

say about the quiet ones?

Tomorrow's gonna be tough.

My little girl says you can handle

it and that's good enough for me.

Half the power brokers in Australia

are going to be in that marquee.

The knives will be out and they

won't be for cutting the cake.

But watch them fall on their swords

when you and future senator Mia

Ramme step up to the mike.

- Mia wants to be a senator?

- She sure does.

She just doesn't know it yet.

Here, check this sh*t out.

Just got it in from Malaysia.

This fat old woman,

she swallowed the lot

and shat them out into a bowl.

I got a big f***ing bag of it, eh.

- Interested?

- I don't... It's not really my thing.

But... Oh, is that the time?

We should probably go now,

Tom, don't you think?

Well, I was thinking maybe while you're

in town, we could go for a beer.

- Huh?

- We'll go for a beer.

Well, I'd love to but

we've got lots on so...

- What have we got going on?

- We've got the wedding.

Yeah, but after the wedding,

we've got literally nothing.

Terrific. You give us your

number and I'll give you a call.

- My number?

- Yeah, yeah.

Uh, my number. Well, I can't

remember it cause it's a new phone.

Here, just take

one of his business cards.

It's got his number, his email

and if you really have nothing

to do, there's Twitter.

Maybe we could go out for a meal,

yeah?

- Yeah, that would be fantastic.

- Great.

- Don't worry about it.

- Thanks, man.

- So, it's a date?

- Yeah.

Total bloody knob end.

Why d'you give that guy my card?

I don't want to go to

dinner with that guy!

- Don't you?

- Of course not! He's a psychopath!

Let's get out of here before he

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