6:66 PM Page #4

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LORRAINE:

Pete, time is money.

PETER:
This is for producers named

Bob that don't respect me and admire

me like Pete does,

because who gives a f***

what Pete thinks.

Oh, this is for that role I

didn't get because I didn't blow

enough producers. Oh, this is

for my ex-girlfriend selling her

twat for crack cocaine.

I don't even like champagne.

LORRAINE:
Peter!

I'm putting

up the camera.

[BIRDS CAWING]

LORRAINE:

Time is money!

Yes, ma'am.

[BIRDS CAWING]

SHERYL:
You ever get the

feeling we're being watched?

LORRAINE:
Stop complaining about stalkers.

At my age you're gonna

want someone to follow you

home and watch you undress.

No. I mean, like, right now.

What?

[TORTURED SCREAMING]

Ah!

What was that?

What the hell?

What is that?

PETER:
Hey, guys.

[SCREAMING]

Found some beef jerky.

Can you stop screwing

around and go get your camera?

Okay. Time to check out the room

we're calling the death chamber.

[DISTANT HOWLING]

LORRAINE:
Okay. So you guys

remember what we rehearsed?

Good, good. Pete,

are you rolling? And action.

SHERYL:
We're here on the

Beck property, haunted site

of numerous grisly murders. As

you can see, it's very dark and

I can feel

that evil is present.

DANIEL:
The killer buried

lots of bodies around

this here Beck property. My

partner will use her psychic

powers. I will use my forensic

science expertise. We will

locate and conquer

this paranormal activity

that we detect.

Now,

the spirit has already shown

some displeasure

with us being here,

so we have

to be very careful.

Okay. No one's gonna jump

out of here though, right?

LORRAINE:
No.

SHERYL:
No. We'll be fine.

[DOOR CREAKS]

[CRICKET SOUNDS]

[FLY BUZZING]

[HEAVY DOOR SLAM]

PARANORMAL MUSIC

SHERYL:
Hmm.

DANIEL:
Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

There seems to be a red

paint-like substance on the

- Hmm.

- floor here.

[BLOOD DRIP SOUNDS]

SHERYL:

Ah. Yes, I think that's blood.

Oh.

[FLY BUZZING] Ah, hmm.

Oh.

[BLOOD DRIPS AND FLY

BUZZING CONTINUE]

Hmm, well, that's strange.

Hmm.

[SCREAMING]

[GUSHY BLOOD DRIPS]

[SCREAMS CONTINUE AND FADE]

Ew, ew, ew.

PETER:
[laughing]

We found the cat.

Shut up.

God, my top. Oh, I've

got cat blood on me.

I can't get blood

exposure from this, can I?

Like, cat hepatitis?

- Awesome.

- How did it look?

- Yeah.

- Swear?

Mm, Let me see it.

Blood, b*obs, money shot.

Oh, my God.

Was this you, Lorraine?

Me?

Yeah. You wanted

the cat as a prop.

Judge Judy would

call that a motive, man.

Okay. I donate to PETA, and

I am deathly allergic of cats.

Hey, who turned

the house lights off?

[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]

DANIEL:
Uh, um-

LORRAINE:
Let's get in there.

Our psychic is

gonna call out that ghost.

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