50 Ways to Leave Your Lover Page #3
- R
- Year:
- 2004
- 95 min
- 63 Views
I'm gonna blow a big, fat doob.
-Such a disgrace.
-Mm-hmm.
Owen! Stop! Stop! Owen!
Listen to me, will you?
Listen to me.
If you don't turn back now...
you will drive yourself
over the edge!
Jack, relax. The world is round.
Next, he had to set things
straight at work.
I've made some revisions...
because I feel like
we need to offer...
a more complete account
of events.
The most important thing
is we write a book...
we can both be proud of.
Well, Shakespeare,
there's two things...
I want this book to make us--
proud and money. Shoot.
"The competition
for the Apollo mission...
sizzled hotter than
a Houston parking lot in July."
That's good. I like that.
"l knew the final selection
would come down to politics...
"so I volunteered to pilot
Senator Baldridge's plane.
"That weekend I was ordered...
"to fly some hookers
to Camp David.
"The Soviets were in town...
a good impression.
"The rest is history.
To this day...
"l think if Brezhnev
had not been sated...
named Susu...
the national hero
that I am today."
Just who in the f***
do you think you are?
Oh, yeah? I was gonna ask you
the same question...
because you're definitely
not the guy in the book!
And then came
the hardest part...
the final farewell
to his friends.
What does that mean,
breaking up with your life?
Is that one of the twelve steps?
No, I finally got honest
with myself...
and everyone else in my life.
Cool. Well, good luck, man.
Yeah.
Hey, before I go,
there's something...
You remember that guy
on your wedding tape...
who was humping
one of the caterers...
in the video greeting arbor...
and all you could see
Oh, my God!
You found out who that was?
Yeah! That was me.
-Ahem.
-Ha ha!
Remember when Allison
was into girls...
and you asked me to find out
if she wanted to sleep with you?
Yeah. As I recall, she said
I was a moped with a vagina.
Actually, she didn't say that.
I did.
Heh. That was you?
you're hot.
So I could have been
f***ing Allison all this time?
Oh, my God!
Well, if my show's the welfare
cheese of the American mind...
then what the hell's
the crap you write, huh?
You talentless fuckhead!
At least my cheese
doesn't stink.
Well, thanks, Blaine.
Good luck to you, buddy.
What the hell was that about?
I don't know.
I've started speaking
from my heart, you know?
And in about an hour, I'll have
absolutely no friends left...
so there'll be less reason
to come back.
Hey, man, I'm still your friend.
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