Boat Trip Page #3

- Yes, of course, for swimming.

Let me see that.

Club Socrates wants you to know

you'll be treated like a queen.

- You mean king?

- Queen. It says so right there.

That's weird.

Hello?

Ring, ring, ring.

Everybody conga.

Conga, conga, conga, everybody party

Party, party, party

Five o'clock today

Yeah, baby! I told you, Jer.

This boat is wild!

- Where's the party, sweet thing?

- Stateroom 209. Stateroom 209.

It's casual.

To fresh scratches on our backs.

- Scotch and soda, please.

- Coming right up, sir.

Oh, please.

Why do they always

have to play Liza?

I don't know.

I kinda like "Liza With a Z".

Yeah, it's kind of cool

for making out.

I prefer Johnny Mathis, myself.

Yeah, if you're gonna

make out with a dude.

That is very funny.

My name is Faversham.

Lloyd Faversham.

- Nick Ragoni.

- Nick.

- Jerry.

- Jerry.

- Is this your first cruise?

- No, my third.

- And you?

- Numero uno.

Then you are going to positively

adore it. It is one wild...

...decadent week.

- That's why we're here, right?

- All night parties.

- Excellent.

- Midnight skinny dipping.

- Sign me up!

And if you're into it,

lots of sex, sex... sex.

You hear that, Jer?

All the sex a man could want.

Well, then you must visit

the hole in one room.

Oh? They have an on board

driving range?

Some of the chaps down there

do swing some very large clubs.

You two have an open relationship?

Open? What do you mean

by "open relationship"?

- I mean do you date?

- Of course we date.

- That's why we're here.

- Yeah.

That's absolutely wonderful.

We must get together sometime.

Go for a midnight swim.

Do whatever feels right.

That is what a gay cruise

is all about.

I see.

Hear that, Jerry?

We can do whatever we want.

Whatever feels right.

That's what a gay cruise

is all about.

Whatever we want to do,

we can do it...

because it's a gay cruise.

It's a gay cruise, Jerry,

not a bi-cruise. It's a gay cruise!

Capital G, capital A,

capital YMCA gay cruise, Jerry!

Damn, damn, damn!

I wonder how many other people

made the same mistake I did.

No one! Sh*t! Jerry!

Don't worry, buddy!

I'm bringing you back home! I'm gonna

get you out of here! Let's go!

Help! Help! Somebody help us!

We're straight! We're straight.

Hey, Nick! Stop acting like a jerk!

We'll figure this out!

What are we gonna do, Jerry?

We gotta get off this boat!

Excuse me sir, do you know

where we can get off real quick?

- Try the hole in one room.

- I'm starting to think that 's...

not a real driving range, Jer.

In fact, I'm convinced of it.

Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!

We're trapped like rats!

What?

I checked our itinerary.

We don't dock for four days.

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