20 Year Old Virgins Page #3

between sin and shame?

Dude, I don't know, what?

It's a sin to put it in,

and a shame to pull it out.

Dude, dude, dude.

What's the difference

between hard and light?

What?

You can always go to

sleep with the light on.

This is the life.

You said it, dude.

Kicking back with a buddy, eating pizza,

watching TV.

Dude, who needs girls?

Yeah, who needs girls?

Dude.

It's not like I don't

enjoy our hangouts and sh*t,

but I gotta get me a chick.

Yeah, me too.

I'm going broke being single.

Yeah.

Hey, you know what would be cool?

If a couple girls knocked on

our door right now.

One for me and one for you.

Yeah, dude, be like, invite them in

and then touch them, kiss them,

and then make love to them.

Oh, and shower with them and stuff.

Dude.

Yeah.

And then cook with them.

Cook with them?-Yeah, dude.

Dude, you don't know

what youre talking about.

Dude, chicks dig that sh*t.

It's like watching porn for us.

Yeah, porn.

(knocking)

What's up, loser?

Hey, Mike, what are you doing here?

What's up, bro?

F*ggot.

You still alive?

Yeah.

What are you doing here?-I don't know.

Looks like I'm gonna be staying

here for a little while.

What happened with you and Amy?

We broke up.

What, I mean, what happened?

She's just a f***ing liar and a cheater.

How'd you, how'd you find that out?

(sputtering)

God.

How'd you find out?

Look, check it out.

I call her last night just to

ask her where she is, right?

She tells me she's out with her

best friend, Jennifer.

Okay, so?

I was with Jennifer.

Oh.

The f*** is that smell?

I can't believe hed just leave like that.

You know, we talk about this

sort of thing in bed

all the time.

He'll be back.

Just give him some time to cool off.

Yeah, well, for all I

know he was cheating, too.

How do you know that, Ames?

Last night when he called l

told him I was with Jennifer.

And?

He was with Jennifer.

Okay, well, doesn't she

take swimming lessons from him?

Whose side are you on?

Oh, God.

God, you guys suck.

Yeah, bro, low shot, yeah.

All right.

Bedroom's mine.

That, that's the, that's my room, bro.

You still wet the bed?

Yeah, I do.

Great.

(indistinct conversation)

Don't forget your girlfriend.

Yeah.

Burn.

Can I talk to you for a second?

You just got burned.

Dude.

First he comes over without asking

and then he makes himself at home

and now he's taking over my room?

Dude, he just broke up with his girlfriend.

Yeah, I wonder why.

Come on, just take it easy, it'll be okay.

They'll probably get back together

by the end of the day.

Dude, I know hes your brother and all,

but he's an a**hole.

Hey, come on...

There's already one a**hole in the complex,

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