20 Year Old Virgins

Welcome back, Eugenie.

Hello again, sweet Candy.

What wishes can I grant you today?

Why don't you get me the

shy Catholic school girl?

Your wish is my command.

Ah, there she is.

Hi!

You asked for me?

I sure did.

Have you been a naughty school girl?

Yeah.

You know what I do to naughty

little school girls,

don't you?

Are you gonna spank my ass?

I sure am.

Now bend over and lift up that skirt.

Your wishes my command.

Oh!

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, oh.

Oh, ow!

I'm king of the world!

F*ck you.

Wait, is it, is that a new tattoo?

Yeah, I just got it yesterday.

You like it?

Yeah, you need to be punished for that, too.

Oh!

You know what I want youth do now?

Your wish is my command.

See that big black one over there?

Oh, no, not that one.

Yeah, that's right, that one.

I want you to make that one disappear.

All of it?

No, just the tip.

Yeah, all of it.

But that's gonna hurt.

You need to be punished.

Now sit on it.

Your wishes my command.

Oh!

Good thing I didnt step in it.

Hey, check it out, chips.

Oh, yeah, yeah, chips.

Check out whats in the box.

She said she's gonnabuy us dinner anyway.

Oh, yeah, let's see what's in here.

Hopefully theres some candy.

Oh, yeah, there is candy, look at this.

Look at this.

That's what Im talking about.

Nice, wow.

Oh, yeah.

Let me see that.

Sweet smell of the summer, huh?

Oh, yeah.

Let's have some of those chips.

Oh, shit, she's here.

Oh, shit!

Put it back.

Hey, come on guys, it's the one upstairs.

You moving in?

Gee, how'd you guess?

Well, duh, I mean, you got movers,

moving boxes, moving trucks.

It doesn't take a brain surgeon.

That much is true.

What's that smell?

I don't smell anything.

You know what, it's probably the gardener.

He always smells a little funky.

Welcome to the neighborhood.

Oh, and um, it's, it's Gene.

With an N.

Okay.

(moaning)

I like that.

Do you like that?

Surprise!

Oh, Gene, ah, goddamn.

Doesn't anyone fucking knock anymore?

Dude, come on.

Dude, get the f*ck out,

close the door, God.

Whatever you're doing, I

have something to show you.

Unless, unless its a Catholic school girl

I don't wanna see it.

It's better.

I'm sorry.

Where were we?

Like that?

Yeah.

It is all in.

You're all in.

Are you done yet?

Dude, shut up.

You're making me lose my concentration.

Dude, just try a different video,

it's probably not working for you,

that's what I do.

It's, it's not a video,

it's a real life chick.

It's, it's a real babe?

Yeah, it's a real life chick.

Let me see.

Dude, get out, get out of here, man.

Oh, dude, come on.

This is costing me2.99 a minute here.

Dude, come on, man.

I'll show you later.

Whatever.

Later.

I, I guess you've

been punished enough, Candy.

If you're a naughty girl tomorrow

I'll give you a call back, okay?

All right.

I'm just gonna go see what

the boys are up to

in the locker room.

I think they just finished

football practice.

You nasty, naughty little...

Man.

What's up, dude?

Ohhhh.

Dude, what's that smell?

Gardener.

Oh.

So what are you doing?

Making a salad or something?

Dude, what I discovered

last night is the closest thing

that we'll get to the real thing,

that'll actually feel like the real thing.

Okay, so what is it?

Okay, dude, you know that movie

where the guys sticks his dick

in the warm apple pie and

it's supposed to feel

like the real thing?

Well that is a total bunch of shit, man.

'Cause I tried it.

I burned my dick for like, a week,

it hurt to piss.

And there I was just icing the sausage away

and then I realized whats wet,

smooth and soft?

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