You, Me and Him Page #3

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- Oh! Most definitely.

- Fantastic!

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

- [SUE] Green juice, darling?

- No, thanks, Mummy.

- Nice to have our princess home.

- Just the damn best.

Wish you had an argument

with your flatmate every week.

- Girlfriend.

- Life partner, darling.

Well, we'll be here when it

doesn't work out, won't we, love?

[SUE] Absolutely!

[SNORING]

Good morning, Alex.

[GASPING]

Do you wanna go again?

Oh, my God.

- Oh, thank God!

- [SOBBING]

Oh, Alex, I can't believe I

did that without telling you.

- I'm so sorry.

- I'm so sorry.

- I'm so sorry.

- So sorry.

So sorry?

Let's just have a baby. Huh?

Let's do whatever you want.

Whatever it takes.

- Really?

- Let's mess up your VJ, good and proper.

That's a yes.

Yay!

[SOBBING]

Thank you! Because, Alex...

this is about you.

I can't do this without you

being part of it, you know?

- It'll be easy, right?

- Yes!

Having a baby is just like having a

mate around who's always pissed.

They just need propping up now

and again, and given fluids.

- Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure.

- Sweet!

[OLIVIA] So I would ask you to find

him accountable for what he did.

In summation, clause 14

states that... [BURPS]

That's not what it states.

Clause 14... [HEAVES]

[HEAVES]

[JUDGE] Are you able

to continue, Miss Miller?

[HEAVES]

[JURY MURMURING]

Um...

no, actually.

My colleague will tell you

about that clause.

If you will please excuse me,

I have to vomit.

There's more out here

if you need 'em babe.

Say a prayer to the god of

fertility.

That's not gonna happen. Go!

[LIGHTER CLICKS]

[CHOKES]

- [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

- It's positive!

I'm pregnant! [HEAVY BREATHING]

Snap. I'm pregnant.

No, I am. I am pregnant.

[HEAVY BREATHING]

What?

- I don't understand what happened.

- Oh, poor you. You're all confused.

Meanwhile, you have just put my entire

life in a salad spinner of f***!

I was so drunk.

And you went behind my back

and that really hurt.

So, you thought you'd sleep with a

man you nicknamed scrotum pole?

I don't remember anything.

[OLIVIA] You remembered

how to f***, obviously!

F***! F***! F***! F***!

F***! F***! F***!

Look how much you're f***ing

making me swear!

[GASPING]

I just don't understand why you keep

messing everything up for yourself.

[GASPING]

- Oh, what's this?

- Bag.

- What?

- Bag. Paper bag.

[GASPING CONTINUES]

Just...

- We were so good together.

- I know.

- I know

- [GASPING CONTINUES]

You can't be the one to

comfort me over you.

["RUN" PLAYING]

Oh, yes!

Olivia, look.

- She gave me my ball back.

- That's fantastic! I'm so happy for you.

Let's have a look.

Okay.

Can I have my ball back now?

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