With Honors Page #4

Read all about it!

Harvard student dies in freak accident!

Crushed by giant ego!

I'll take the rest. Here's $5.

What do you see when you look at me?

What do you see?

A man.

No, you see a piece of sh*t.

I see a man who needs a home.

I had a home.

I had a warm place to sleep.

Seventeen bathrooms

and eight miles of books.

I had a goddamn palace.

Do you know why I need a home?

'Cause of you.

'Cause when you looked at me,

you didn't see a man.

Well?

What's that?

A house.

I prefer that.

It's full.

It's the best I can do.

My roommate, Boz, cracked up

two months ago and quit school.

This is his stuff!

Where is he now?

Bali!

Bali? I've been there. Merchant Marines.

Swab the decks and see the world.

Just don't breathe in the engine room.

Well, all this comfort can be yours

for just one senior thesis.

For each night's lodging...

...one page.

Mr. Wilder, I don't think you understand.

This is nine months of my work.

I need all the pages now.

Just give me everything

and you can stay until spring.

I give you my word.

Your word, Harvard. Surely ye jest.

Did you forget about our original deal?

One thing for one thing.

Get a little creative,

you'll have me out of here in no time at all.

By the way...

...I'll need something decent to read.

I'll get anything you want from the library.

I was reading Germinal by Zola

until I was so rudely interrupted.

You'll have it by tomorrow.

Boy, oh, boy.

- Where are you going?

- I got to get dinner.

My roommates are cooking dinner.

I'll get you some.

Wait a minute. What are they having?

What are they having?

Hello, Speedy.

How was your day?

That good.

- Check that for you.

- Mr. One-Crutch Man.

- The doctor told you to use both crutches?

- I only need one.

Don't tell me you're even afraid

to depend on inanimate objects.

Anyone mind if I have seconds.

I'll kick in extra for groceries.

You still owe for last week.

I'm good for it, Jeff.

Can you get the door, please?

You dining on the terrace this evening?

This meet your standards?

When do I get my page?

Tomorrow.

If you eat now, I get my page now.

If you had an insurance policy,

would you carry it around?

You're being very unreasonable.

How do I know you didn't burn it?

Do you think I'm an idiot?

No, Harvard.

I think you're a loser.

Fine!

Tomorrow then. 'Bye.

What if my parents pull

one of their surprise visits?

My mom would have a heart attack.

I mean....

Wouldn't it have been more considerate

if you had asked Jeff's mother first?

Don't lecture me about consideration.

You keep a rooster in the house.

My cock is a lot cleaner than your bum.

You're comparing c*cks and bums.

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