Wish I Was Here Page #3

I can't stand that f***ing guy.

Get over here. Kugel!

Lie down.

Your can looks good.

You know when you make

fun of my trailer, Aidan,

you're making fun of

my inheritance from Mom.

She wanted me to live how I choose.

And to be free to pursue

the goals that I have.

And what are those goals?

I thought you were gonna, like,

develop an iPhone app or something.

No, no, f*** apps. F*** apps.

It's a saturated market.

I'm gonna start blogging.

Look, I have two problems and one,

I think you might be

able to help me with.

- What?

- Kugel.

- F*** off.

- Dude, I can't raise two kids

and go on auditions and

take care of this dog.

Absolutely not.

Are you kidding me?

This is our father.

Our father. You have

to rally with me.

Oh. Okay. So,

when you get old and sick,

everybody's just supposed to

forget that you were an a**hole?

I know he's not easy.

Trust me, no one knows

that better than me.

What's the other one?

What?

You said that there were

two problems, Aidan.

I will help you with the

one that's not that dog.

The other one is that

he's gonna try an

experimental treatment now,

and he can't afford to send the

kids to the yeshiva anymore.

Well, it sounds like you

really got your hands full.

Live long and prosper.

- Are you serious?

- I gotta get back to work.

A blogger never rests.

Don't you dare leave that dog.

...as he searches for his first love.

What a beautiful tortoise.

Can I say something that's

probably gonna piss you off?

I can't wait.

Why don't you homeschool them?

Are you kidding me?

What are we, Amish?

I've been looking online and there's

a whole new movement out there.

Cities that public

schools are suffering,

some parents are

considering other options.

Dad, can we buy drugs

at our public school?

What?

Uncle Noah said he used to buy

drugs at his public school.

No, man, that was the '90s.

This is LA. There's a weed

pharmacy on every corner.

All you need is 50

bucks and a headache.

- Honey, don't tell him that.

- If you're implying

you want me to give up acting,

you should just say it.

I think you should give up acting.

I will not give up acting.

We can't afford private school,

you're afraid of public school.

It's the middle of the school year.

You want to just drop these two

little indoctrinated matzo balls

into a school that's ranked

last in the district?

I agree with you,

but what's your plan, Dad?

Grace, what's the Hebrew

word for charity again?

Tzedakah.

Tzedakah.

Mr. Bloom, Baruch Hashem.

Please have a seat.

Do you ever watch these YouTubes?

YouTube? Yes, I've seen YouTube.

This kitten will not allow his

brother to sleep, no matter what.

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