White Chicks Page #5

The Hamptons Magazine reception

just started, so let's hit it.

Hey, check it out.

Are those the Wilson sisters?

More like the Wilt Chamberlain sisters.

I never noticed how big they are.

But I'd still bone.

My God. There's Heath.

Dude, are you hitting Karen Googlestein,

the soap heiress, too?

How do you keep that sh*t dangling?

I keep telling her I'm going to break

up with my girl.

You better hope Heather doesn't find out.

She won't.

At least until I wrap up this big deal

with her father.

Hey, Mr. V.

And look, there they are.

The fen-phen twins.

They're hot.

What, are you blind?

That's Heather and Megan Vandergeld.

Your sworn enemies since you were like,

I don't know. Eight?

Did I say hot? I meant not.

- I totally hate them.

- Did you guys hear about Megan?

She got stopped by security at Saks

trying to pull a Winona.

God. Come on.

- This is going to be fun.

- Move.

Look who just flew in from the slums

of Beverly Hills.

It's The Beverly Ho-billies.

- Squeeze me?

- No, you didn't.

I'm sorry, but we just saw your new video.

They had a screening

over at Saks Fifth Avenue...

in the security office.

A klept-ho-maniac.

Your mother shops at Saks.

What?

My God. You want to talk about mothers?

You want to talk about mothers.

It's mother time. Okay.

Your mother's so dumb

she went to Dr. Dre for a Pap smear.

"Something's wrong, Dr. Dre.

My coochie's doing a beatbox."

Yeah? Well, your mother is so stupid...

she exercises when she could just get...

liposuction or something.

Your mother's so old that her breast milk

is powdered. You breast-feed like this.

Your mother is so, like...

She's so...

Megan, you go.

Your mother is so stupid...

that she goes to Barneys Rooftop

Deck Restaurant for lunch...

and orders a nioise salad and calls it

a "ni-coise" salad.

"Ni-coise" salad, right?

Your mother's ass is so hairy...

it looks like Don King's about to pop out

and say, "Only in America!"

Your mother's so stupid...

that she goes into Gucci and she

tries to buy, like, Fendi and stuff.

Megan, Heather. Come on now, girls.

Is this any way to speak to your guests?

Brittany and Tiffany Wilson.

I haven't seen you since you were smaller.

Yeah. Well, we're all grown up now.

Yeah, I can see that.

Ladies, I fully expect

to see you later at the White Party.

- I think it's gonna be the best one ever.

- We'll be there.

- Take care. Bye. Good seeing you again.

- Bye, Mr. V.

This isn't over yet.

This is a long weekend.

You better watch your back.

- Ladies.

- Whatever.

I can't believe you guys just did that

to the Vandergelds.

You know, they could take you

off the scene just like that.

- Yeah, but it was so cool, you guys.

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