White Chicks Page #4

Here, yo, hold this!

Hey, you trying to look at my lumps?

I'll pull off my G-string and handle mine.

- I'll handle mine.

- Kevin, it's Gomez.

Welcome to the Royal Hamptons Hotel.

- The bags are in the car, Jos.

- The name is Gomez.

- Whatever.

- Yeah, great. Here. Take Baby.

Clean out his bag.

Poor thing just pooped everywhere.

And teach him how to say,

"Quiero Taco Bell."

- Thanks a lot, Rico Suave. Grazie.

- Thanks, Julio.

Right away, ma'am.

Sweetie, you've got to slow up

with those Cosmos.

Brittany and Tiffany Wilson, checking in.

Sorry. They're new.

- Dr. Dorfman did an amazing job.

- They feel so real.

Hi. Yeah, I just...

I need a credit card, please.

And some Id, please.

Credit card? Id?

I'm so fricking pissed.

- Ma'am, I...

- First of all...

I go to Dr. Dorfman.

He totally messes up my nose job.

I ask him to make me

look like Gwyneth Paltrow.

I get off the surgery table

looking like freaking Shrek.

Then I get here, and Mr. Harper...

makes me feel like

I'm some dumb blonde with fake b*obs...

going to a Hugh Hefner party.

No. I didn't mean to offend you.

- It's just protocol.

- I'm going to have a B.F.

My God. She's going to have a b*tch fit.

No. Don't have a B.F. now...

I want to speak to your supervisor.

Better yet, I'm going to write a letter.

- Miss, there's no reason to...

- You are in big trouble.

"Dear Mr...

"Royal Hampton.

"I am a white woman...

- "in America."

- Ladies, is there a problem here?

- Yes.

- No.

There's no problem.

These are two of our VIP guests.

Issue them keys. Immediately.

VIP. Learn your acronyms.

- What a sweetheart.

- Here you are. Enjoy your stay.

Has anyone ever told you

you look just like Denzel Washington?

Yes, actually I have

heard it once or twice.

What a beautiful chocolate man.

Beautiful. God.

- That was close.

- Yeah.

- Are they waving at us?

- I don't know.

- What are we going to do?

- Just act friendly.

My God.

Well, don't act like you don't know us.

Karen, Lisa, Tori.

Oh, my God.

I haven't seen you in forever.

It's only been a year.

Did you do something different

to your hair?

- No.

- You gain weight?

- No.

- I know! You just had a birthday.

- Yeah.

- Totally. Total fire sign. I knew it.

- I totally knew it.

- Wait a minute.

There is definitely...

something different about the two of you.

Collagen.

You little witch. How did you know?

Duh, it's totally obvious.

Your lips went from Cameron Diaz to Jay-Z.

You got taller, too.

We got our knees done.

You can do that?

- You should do that.

- Yes.

Well, it was really good

seeing you ladies. Bye.

Excuse me.

Where do you think you're going?

To go freshen up.

Rate this script:4.0 / 3 votes