Whipped Page #4

-Hi.

-Stacey.

-Stacey, Im sorry.

Bristol.

How do you guys know Zeke?

We don't.

Maybe Andrew McCarthy in

"St. Elmo's Fire".

He was totally misunderstood

in that film.

Just because...

he had creative,

more intellectual interests,

everybody thought he was gay.

Im not.

Im not like that.

Its because Im single

and creative,

and I understand my feminine side

better than the next guy.

He just came over here

and made us feel his leg.

Hey, guys. What are you

doing in the park on Sunday.

Brad!

Who are these beautiful mommies?

Brad, this is Marie...

-Marie.

-Stacey...

Pleasure.

-And Crystal.

-Bristol.

Bristol.

Bristol.

I would have to say

Tom Cruise, "Risky Business".

He was stuffing Rebecca DeMornay,

drove a Porsche,

and he ran a clam house.

For Christ's sake!

Brad, get off the babysitter.

Scamming's not

the most important thing.

Its just something Im good at.

A good catch?

Yeah, I think Im a good catch.

I make a shitload of money...

Look at me!

Why is everyone so quiet?

Didn't anyone scam this weekend?

Zeke?

Of course. I just don't

want to talk about it.

What do you mean?

Isn't that the point of

coming here every Sunday?

Maybe I met someone I don't

feel like telling you d*cks about.

Just because you talk

about how you porked your wife

with a waffle iron,

doesn't mean I gotta tell you sh*t.

Excuse me for asking.

And it was a juicer.

So,...

was she hot?

I don't care about looks anymore.

Im over that superficial crap.

As long as she's got a great rack

and buns like a champ, Im happy.

Yeah, she was hot.

-You railed her?

-What?

You didn't rail her?

That's probably why you like her

and you're not talking about her.

-I didn't say if I railed her.

-Usually means you didn't rail her.

-Didn't rail her.

-Definitely didn't rail her.

Listen up, a**holes.

It was Thursday night.

I was back at the Bell Caf,

looking for the wonder twins,

when I suddenly I notice this

beautiful woman at another table.

Notice she's a woman

and not a hi-dee-hi-dee-ho.

What are you reading?

Now this girl was fly.

-She was that f***ing hot?

-Yeah.

The capper is, she was reading

Syd Field's screenplay book.

So?

So?

That's like the Bible

for screenwriters.

She's not only hot but got

the same interests as me.

Wait, did you say

you f***ed her in a field?

Yeah!

No, I said she was reading

Syd Field's screenplay book.

Who cares?

Did you f*** her?

No, look.

Have some f***ing respect.

I think I actually like this one.

-I knew it.

-Definitely didn't f*** her.

Did you get her back to your crib?

Of course.

-What are your legs?

-Steel springs.

-How fast can you run?

-Fast as a leopard. Gallipoli.

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