What We Do in the Shadows Page #5

But I put a nice twist on it.

Nick.

How does it feel to

have a snake for a penis?

Jackie?

My penis has disappeared.

It's a cobra snake.

Nobody is gonna mistake

your penis for a cobra, Nick, okay?

- Believe me.

- What have you put in my bisghetti?

No, it is just a normal penis.

I'm out. I'm out.

Josefine?

Do you like bisghetti?

Look, these freaks...

... spike my bisghetti,

make my cock turn into a snake is not cool.

Not cool.

You don't think this is weird?

For f*** sakes...

Jackie?!

Jackie!

- Sorry Nick.

- What are you doing?!

Jackie!

Sh*t!

F*** off.

Where am I?

F***.

F***!

Freaks!

Ah, no...

Petyr got him.

Poor guy...

Who let Petyr out?

Hey, guys!

Hey, what are you guys doing?

What are you doing, Nick?

Come into the house.

- Hi, my name is Nick.

- Hey, guys.

I've been a vampire for 2 months.

Probably, I reckon best thing

about being a vampire is flying.

Like I've always wanted to,

I think everyone has always wanted to fly.

And now I can do it.

Oh...

Nick, why don't you use the front door?

Why would I? I'm flying.

Petyr bit me.

Sucked all my blood out.

I woke up in his basement and...

... he offered me some blood.

I just thought it was something...

... some German thing that these guys do.

This transition, into becoming

a vampire was pretty hard.

I look like sh*t to start off with, like,

I had a massive gash on my neck.

Like you could see the inside of my neck.

I had blood all over my top.

And then I came home and

I was sweating.

I was either really hot or really cold.

It was like a hang-over times 10, I reckon.

It was really bad.

It was quite similar to having the flu.

Except, the only difference

would probably be...

... that my eyes bleed heaps.

Are you guys not cold?

No, I can't really explain it.

It's like, yeah, really hot and cold and like...

... bloody eyes and flying and stuff.

The neighbors can see you

flying around the house.

You want to draw attention

to his house, hm?

You got a whole...

documentary crew following you around.

I am doing an erotic dance for my friends.

And you ruined it.

I was in the zone.

My friends are loving it.

I love it. I saw the end of it.

It looked great.

I don't, I don't know,

if I'm, if I'm accepted yet.

But... I don't know.

I think it's getting there.

I don't know the oldest stuff,

but they're quite naive...

... when it comes to the real world.

So...

I don't know,

it would be cool to just...

Hang out with them.

They could teach me some stuff.

But I could probably

teach them a few things.

At the start it was like, 'Oh no, like I'm..'

'... I'm dead.'

It kind of affected my friendship with normal people,

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