
Welcome to Willits
[static crackling]
[instrumental music
on TV]
Electric shavers,
blenders
toasters,
vacuum cleaners
stereo, power tools
even being available at Macy's,
Gimble's, Two Guys,
and any participating
hardware store near you.
That's the space vehicle
which orbited Venus
and then pur -- was
purposefully destroyed
by NASA
when scientists discovered
it was carrying
a mysterious
high-level radiation.
You been sneaking
that meth again, huh?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- No, no, not me, man.
Stop, it's not worth it.
Why the hell
did you do that?
'Cause you wouldn't
let me shoot him.
A dark night of tyranny
has descended on..
[dramatic music]
[eerie music]
Peggy?
Peggy?
No.
I wanna go home.
[crying]
I'm not a bad guy.
I'm not a bad guy.
[intense music]
Please.
The f*ck do you want
from me?
[growling]
[screaming]
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey. Hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey.
Where? Where?
Where?
We're just
fuelin' up, hon.
Dip or smokes, sugar?
- Uh, both.
- Okay.
A sixer too, uh
and one -- one
of them little,
keg things.
Oh, hold on.
- How long was I gone?
- Oh, only a couple hours?
Okay.
Hey, I'm gonna, uh,
run inside
and -- and grab
a couple of things.
Hey, sweetie,
would you mind braggin'
grabbin' some,
some smokes
and -- and some booze
for Brock?
Whatever's cheapest.
He ain't picky.
Nothin' -- nothin'
imported.
Okay, sure.
You okay, sweetie?
[phone beeps]
Oh, geez, Peg.
I'm gonna plug this in
for ya.
- It's dyin'.
- Thanks, hon.
I don't know
why you have it.
a day in your life.
Well, that's why
I have you.
[instrumental music
on TV]
[door dings]
[indistinct chatter]
You guys get
what you need
last-minute provisions.
Oh, provisions?
[chuckles]
Affirmative, captain.
We shall procure
rations ASAP
as to avoid
future SNAFU.
You're a fucking
douchebag, dude.
Huh, yeah.
I'm just making sure
we're stocked.
No need to ruin
a good trip.
Oh, and I just want
to pull that stick
out of your ass.
Hi, uh, n -- nice boots.
Uh-huh.
[laughing]
Thanks.
Nice blade.
Smith & Wesson?
Good eye, miss.
- Courtney.
- Courtney.
I, uh, I actually prefer
anything Kershaw makes.
I feel like, um,
S&W oughta just
stick to sidearms,
ya know?
Oh, okay, well, maybe
Jeremiah Jones
doesn't bring
his best steel out
in a Podunk town
like this.
Maybe I'm from this
Podunk town
and I don't need a tourist
telling me
what he sees fit
to bring in and out.
Wow.
Well, it just so happens
that I'm from
a few miles up north.
So, that makes me
an authority
on Podunkery.
Podunkery, yeah,
you must be
from somewhere
around here, handsome.
Handsome?
So you've never left
this area?
- No, not at all.
- No.
No, actually, um, I, uh,
I was just at school.
I just came back.
I'm gonna be staying
with family
until I get all settled.
Oh, Jeremiah Jones
stands corrected.
Does Jeremiah Jones
actually refer to himself
in the third person
all the time?
[laughing]
No. No.
No, but what I -- what I
do do is tend to, uh
get a bit goofy
and become an idiot
when I meet
a pretty girl.
[laughs]
Actually, um
if you wanna see
some real foolish idiots
you should, uh,
come down to the bar.
Where I work.
On Monday, maybe?
It's my first
shift back.
I could give you
a long pour
the scumbags.
[whispering]
- Just go over there.
- What?
Just go that way.
I don't want you
to get in trouble.
Go.
- Klaus.
- What?
If you ask me,
Sasquatch was responsible
for them deaths.
Just says they're
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Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
"Welcome to Willits" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 1 Mar. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/welcome_to_willits_23224>.