Welcome to Willits

[static crackling]

[instrumental music

on TV]

Electric shavers,

blenders

toasters,

vacuum cleaners

stereo, power tools

even being available at Macy's,

Gimble's, Two Guys,

and any participating

hardware store near you.

That's the space vehicle

which orbited Venus

and then pur -- was

purposefully destroyed

by NASA

when scientists discovered

it was carrying

a mysterious

high-level radiation.

You been sneaking

that meth again, huh?

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

- No, no, not me, man.

Stop, it's not worth it.

Why the hell

did you do that?

'Cause you wouldn't

let me shoot him.

A dark night of tyranny

has descended on..

[dramatic music]

[eerie music]

Peggy?

Peggy?

No.

I wanna go home.

[crying]

I'm not a bad guy.

I'm not a bad guy.

[intense music]

Please.

The f*ck do you want

from me?

[growling]

[screaming]

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey, hey. Hey.

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey.

Where? Where?

Where?

We're just

fuelin' up, hon.

Dip or smokes, sugar?

- Uh, both.

- Okay.

A sixer too, uh

and one -- one

of them little,

keg things.

Oh, hold on.

- How long was I gone?

- Oh, only a couple hours?

Okay.

Hey, I'm gonna, uh,

run inside

and -- and grab

a couple of things.

Hey, sweetie,

would you mind braggin'

grabbin' some,

some smokes

and -- and some booze

for Brock?

Whatever's cheapest.

He ain't picky.

Nothin' -- nothin'

imported.

Okay, sure.

You okay, sweetie?

[phone beeps]

Oh, geez, Peg.

I'm gonna plug this in

for ya.

- It's dyin'.

- Thanks, hon.

I don't know

why you have it.

You never charge it

a day in your life.

Well, that's why

I have you.

[instrumental music

on TV]

[door dings]

[indistinct chatter]

You guys get

what you need

I'm gonna gather some

last-minute provisions.

Oh, provisions?

[chuckles]

Affirmative, captain.

We shall procure

rations ASAP

as to avoid

future SNAFU.

You're a f*cking

douchebag, dude.

Huh, yeah.

I'm just making sure

we're stocked.

No need to ruin

a good trip.

Oh, and I just want

to pull that stick

out of your ass.

Hi, uh, n -- nice boots.

Uh-huh.

[laughing]

Thanks.

Nice blade.

Smith & Wesson?

Good eye, miss.

- Courtney.

- Courtney.

I, uh, I actually prefer

anything Kershaw makes.

I feel like, um,

S&W oughta just

stick to sidearms,

ya know?

Oh, okay, well, maybe

Jeremiah Jones

doesn't bring

his best steel out

in a Podunk town

like this.

Maybe I'm from this

Podunk town

and I don't need a tourist

telling me

what he sees fit

to bring in and out.

Wow.

Well, it just so happens

that I'm from

a few miles up north.

So, that makes me

an authority

on Podunkery.

Podunkery, yeah,

you must be

from somewhere

around here, handsome.

Handsome?

So you've never left

this area?

- No, not at all.

- No.

No, actually, um, I, uh,

I was just at school.

I just came back.

I'm gonna be staying

with family

until I get all settled.

Oh, Jeremiah Jones

stands corrected.

Does Jeremiah Jones

actually refer to himself

in the third person

all the time?

[laughing]

No. No.

No, but what I -- what I

do do is tend to, uh

get a bit goofy

and become an idiot

when I meet

a pretty girl.

[laughs]

Actually, um

if you wanna see

some real foolish idiots

you should, uh,

come down to the bar.

Where I work.

On Monday, maybe?

It's my first

shift back.

I could give you

a long pour

and you could fight off

the scumbags.

[whispering]

- Just go over there.

- What?

Just go that way.

I don't want you

to get in trouble.

Go.

- Klaus.

- What?

If you ask me,

Sasquatch was responsible

for them deaths.

Just says they're

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