Welcome To The Rileys Page #3

it's like thirty-five bucks a day in

storage fees and I don't got that..

It's been in there for like a week, and

how the f*** am I going to get it out.

It's what it is..

So I don't like cops.

How much do you owe?

However much thirtyfive

times seven is.

- 245 dollars.

- How much is that all together?

Well, 1100 plus 245 is 1345 dollars.

Oh, f*** me.

You have a terrible vocabulary.

F*** you.

All right.

I didn't.. mean that.

That way.

Here you go, babe.

Anyway

I got it, I got it.

Sorry.

- Where are you from?

- Why?

Just making conversation.

From Florida.

Where in Florida?

- Panhandle.

- And you work in a...

.. strip club.

It's better than working

peepshows in Atlanta.

Guys jerking off staring at your cooter like it

was singing The Star Spangled-f***ing Banner.

Here you go.

Hey, you...

you think

I mean, you know, now that

I know you're not a cop..

You think I can have those

hundred bucks back?

I mean, you said you only wanted to talk, right?

And we've been talking.

- Here. - I can do something else

for your money too, if you want.

You can have your money back.

- Enjoy. - No, thanks. Thank you.

It's getting late.

I'll take you home.

It's just.. down this street.

So just..

This is your neighborhood?

Yup.

It's this whitish one, right here.

Do you mind coming in

with me for a second?

Just to make sure it's chill.

My electricity is off.

All right.

Motherf***er.

You shouldn't keep your

key in your mailbox.

I'd just lose it if I didn't.

Jesus.

You weren't kidding.

I know.

The place gets really f***ing creepy.

How come you haven't you

paid your electric bill?

I have.

My landlord keeps locking the fuse box.

It's supposed to be included in the rent.

But he is like this..

He's like this freak who wants me to

suck him off while he videotapes it.

He's a regular at the club.

That's like this whole scam he's got going.

He only rents the place to strippers.

But I told him, you know like

I'm not gonna do blow-job videos

and I'm not leaving

'cause I got my rights.

And he tries to scam me with this,

'for sale' sign sh*t, like yeah

like people are dying to buy this sh*t.

- You want to smoke a splif?

- What?

Like a doobi.

- You know, like a joint, weed..

- Marijuana?

Yeah.

I haven't smoked marijuana in...

- What's so funny?

- This whole night.

I feel like I landed on Mars.

Well...

Welcome to New Orleans.

How come you don't want to f*** me?

- Prefer women of my own age.

- Why?

They know what they're doing.

I'm pretty good.

Sure you are.

I think I give some pretty good heads.

I'm sure you do.

- Want me to show you?

- No. No!

Lay down.

Its so weird

being with a guy who

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