W.C. Fields: 6 Short Films Page #4

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Now, now. | Ooh!

As I was saying before, you've got | to keep the wrists close together.

Never let the wrists...

Keep the wrists close together.

Close together. | Never let the wrists separate.

Keep them close together.

Keep the wrists | close together.

- Where are my glasses? | - They're on your head.

Oh. Yeah. | Right.

- Where's the newspaper? | - You're sitting on it.

Oh.

Land o' goshen. | Another baby.

Up until May, uh-huh.

Say, | that's a funny one.

- Look. | - Fifty pounds, and chop it fine.

"Mrs. Unclebeck... " | What do you mean,

"fifty pounds | and chop it fine"?

- Oh, I thought you were Arthur. | - Who's Arthur?

He's the man | I intend to marry.

Oh, well don't tell me anything | about it. I'm only your father.

I can read it in the newspaper. | What does he do?

- Well, he's the iceman. | - An iceman?

- Yeah, he goes to college. He's a Cornell man. | - Iceman!

- Red Grange was an iceman. | - He's still an iceman, as far as I'm concerned.

Put it down there | and get out.

Okay.

Go. | And stay out.

Now, you're so smart. How are you | going to get it in the icebox?

I'll put it in myself.

Listen, don't ever do | that... that to me!

Oh, God.

Hello, hello, hello.

No, he's not in.

- Oh, hello, Frobisher. | - I've been waiting for ya!

I'll meet you on the first tee. | Hurry up over.

Okay, Charlie. Okay. | I'll be over in a half a tick.

Okay. All right.

Did you put the ice in the icebox? | - Yeah.

- How'd you do it? | - It was easy.

- Where are my golf clubs? | - In your golf bag.

Yeah, but where is the golf... bag?

- You just fell over it. | - Yeah. I see that.

Look at that. | Look at that.

I don't know. Where did that | good old driver go?

Oh, that's enough.

- What's my first appointment this morning? | - Miss Pepitone, at 10:30.

Well, I just have time | for 18 holes.

- Where's my cap? | - You never wear any.

- Oh, yeah. That's right. | - Where's the ice?

- In the icebox! | - There's just a little piece left.

Now I'll have | to get some more.

Keep that iceman out of here. | I'm gonna order a Frigidaire.

- That's mine. | - Oh, yeah.

Well, we can't | look for it all day.

We've been at it | twenty minutes now,

and I got to get back | to the office at half past ten.

- I'm gonna drop another ball. | - Okay, drop another.

If it isn't unfair | to either of you gentlemen,

- I can tell you where the ball is. | - Where?

Under that leaf.

Thanks.

"If it isn't unfair to either of us. " | We've been looking for the ball 20 minutes.

- Fore! | - I'd wait a minute. They're still on the green.

Well, let 'em | get out of the way.

- This is certainly a great game | for your health.

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