Valentino Page #5

(Electronic buzzing)

Oh, Baron,

I didn't know you could dance.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...

Hey! What have we got here?

Look at the lovely Easter bonnet.

I guess I'm the life of the party.

Hey! Pooey!

Hey, Fatty!

Pooey!

Oh, honey...

What'll it be, Fatty?

Mr Fatty?

You learn fast, you Bavarian bum.

Those big pots of beer for everybody.

I want a Ramos Fizz.

They make 'em real creamy here, OK?

I guess I said beer though, didn't I?

(Electronic buzzing)

Oh... what did I say, huh?

What did I say?

Beer, Meanie.

- Mr Meanie!

- (Electronic buzzing)

Ow!

(# Drum roll)

(Audience cheers, claps)

(Booing)

Hey! What have we got here, huh?

A floor show or a cattle drive?

Breathe deeply, ignore them.

Hey, if you're out of booze,

just have this bimbo sweat in a glass.

You're a professional -

obscure them with your chin.

Somebody's not laughing.

Hey, Sister!

You dance like my ass chews gum!

Forty-six skidoo!

And that means both of you.

(# Music stops)

Hey, do me a favour, huh?

Get off!

Madam, permit me

to complete your dance card.

El Chocolo.

(# Orchestra strikes up)

I'm sorry.

(Audience laughs)

- Valenti...

- Don't tell me. I know.

You're fired.

(# "O Sole Mio" on piano)

# O sole mio

# Sta 'nfronte a me!

# Sta 'nfronte...

# Che bella cosa... #

(Humming)

Cor, Fatty sure is going to be

mad at me.

You are much better off

without that eleohante.

- Ramos Fizz?

- Yeah.

- Is it nice?

- Yeah.

- Nice and creamy.

- Yeah, I like them really creamy.

That's why Fatty don't like me ordering 'em,

on account he has to lose weight.

# Then he'd have nothing

# To chuck around... #

Sorry about this old mess here.

My maid ain't in tonight.

- You mean you live here all alone?

- Yeah.

I'm getting a bigger spot, too.

Soon as I get a raise.

Two more pictures

and my contract's up for renewal.

- Pictures?

- Yeah.

I guess you're not exactly

a charmed member of my fan club, huh?

I'm sorry.

I don't go to many movies.

But I'm sure I've seen you

somewhere before.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Well, don't worry about it.

There's plenty that have.

You ain't even seen

the poster for my new movie?

They were all over town.

Well, I've just arrived from Omaha.

Yeah? Well, say...

You ought to try pictures yourself

if you're staying for a while.

You got a lot of style.

I mean that as a strictly professional

compliment.

I haven't had much acting experience,

I'm afraid.

Acting, hmm?

No, all you need in movies

is to look sincere.

Let me tell you, brother.

Looking sincere in this town

is a lot of hard work.

There must be more to acting than that.

No, silly. Nobody even hears

a word you're saying.

So, lots of times when I'm supposed

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