Urbania Page #3

down on the bar.

For you.

Why? I haven't done anything

to deserve that.

Not yet.

What's your name?

My name, um, Matt.

Matt.

Show me.

- Matt.

- I'm sorry, show you?

Join me a minute in the bathroom

and show me what you have.

No.

I'm sorry, no.

Clearly a woman for whom

"no" was for the right price...

"Yes."

No woman ever wanted

to just use me.

I appreciated that.

So?

Well, it was getting to be

a ridiculous amount of money

for one simple flash.

That's all she wanted

after all.

I went home and pulled

the pud good night.

Jesus.

Anyway, about three months later

I get a certified letter.

I never got

one of those before.

Saying clara and that husband

of hers had gone on a vacation.

She got one of those

airline insurance policies

and named me

as the beneficiary.

Their plane blew up.

That stool

you're sitting on,

is mine.

So believe me,

I hold no objection

to human needs.

Wow.

Wow, now I want to see.

Bye, Matt.

Hey, thanks, guys.

Good night.

Human needs, man.

Yeah, look...

No objections, right?

It's for your help.

Dick.

This guy, he's...

someone you might

remember seeing in here.

What does

he look like?

Well,

he was born

with all the right stuff.

Good looking, huh?

Yeah, but he's fast approaching

the flip side of sexy.

He doesn't

take care of himself.

He's reckless,

for now, though.

Gotcha.

He's got a tattoo.

A big one.

- A snake...

- Wrapped around a heart?

Squeezing.

That's the guy?

Don't worry,

I know about the girl.

Is he hanging

with any guys lately?

No.

Any particular days?

Times?

No. Late.

Okay.

I'll see you later then,

all right?

You sure he's what

you're looking or?

Yeah.

Don't worry,

I got everything under control.

Hey, what do you

want to do?

Do you want to do what,

honey bun?

Come on, little girl.

Hey, it's charlie...

Oh my God!

I was in the neighbor...

Please, oh my God,

she'll catch her death!

It rained on her.

My my my,

look what the cat...

yadda yadda yadda.

- I thought I'd say...

- Hey.

Oh, you're wet.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Come in from the rain.

At last. Hey!

Great.

Yeah.

# He wanted big beehive hair #

# Big beehive hair #

Hey, hey, darling!

Let's get you

out of these things.

Don't worry about me.

Oh, but I do.

I lie awake at night thinking,

"What's become of him?

Is he wet?"

What?

Brett, are you

expecting company?

Oh God!

Yuck!

Hey, charlie, you just

thumbed out a family member.

It's yours.

You preserving it?

Eat me.

Please.

Elderly woman:
No, we don't

want... Oh, dear.

Oh my, Vivian.

Poor little Vivian.

We got to get you dry.

We don't want the little girl

to catch pneumonia.

We've got to get you dry.

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