Unhinged in Hollywood Page #3

Synopsis: Jeff Dunham stars in this one-hour special from the world famous Dolby Theatre in Hollywood. The telecast features a live performance by country music superstar Brad Paisley, as well as never before seen stand-up and behind-the-scenes sketches featuring Dunham and his eccentric beloved characters.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Michael Simon, Matthew McNeil
Actors: Jeff Dunham, Chuck Liddell, Brad Paisley, Chris Parnell
Production: Universal Pictures
 
IMDB:
6.7
  Unhinged in Hollywood Movie Quotes »
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UNRATED
Year:
2015
71 min
526 Views

Jeff:
No, I don't know. Like, what does your wife watch on TV?

Walter:
I don't care.

Jeff:
Are you guys happy?

Walter:
Look at me.

Jeff:
Well, you still love her.

Walter:
Yeah, of course, but like most marriages, we have been through some difficult times

Jeff:
Sure.

Walter:
But we stayed together because of the children.

Jeff:
Oh, you say your children saved your marriage?

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Walter:
Yeah. Bastards.

Jeff:
Well, admittedly, a good marriage can be hard work.

Walter:
Yeah, I know, I know, I know, I know it can, yeah. We went to a marriage therapist one time.

Jeff:
Just once?

Walter:
It was a therapist.

Jeff:
You didn't like the therapist?

Walter:
Oh, no, he seemed like a good guy, but after listening to my wife talk for 10 minutes, he jumped out the window.

Jeff:
Seriously?

Walter:
Absolutely. And if it wasn't for the leash around my nuts, I would've followed the guy.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Walter:
(YELPING) It was a choke collar.

Jeff:
All right. Look, Walter, I know for a fact that you love your family, you still love your wife, and I think that

even at this age, every once in a while you should still try and be romantic with your wife.

Walter:
Good lord. Like how?

Jeff:
I don't know, do you ever speak to your wife

in a foreign language, like in French? Some women love that.

Walter:
I call her a French name now and then.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Jeff:
Mon cherie?

Walter:
Quasimodo.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Jeff:
So, is there romance between you two?

Walter:
Well, not long ago, my wife left a trail of rose petals on the floor for me.

Jeff:
Ooh. Into the bedroom?

Walter:
Right out the front door.

Jeff:
You know, there are plenty of romantic places in this country you could go for a special time together.

Walter:
Like where?

Jeff:
Top of the Empire State Building.

Walter:
Oh, no, we tried that. A security guard took one look at her and went, "Uh-oh! King Kong is back!"

Jeff:
See, just like that. You've been married for over 45 years. Have you ever said anything to your wife that you truly regretted?

Walter:
Oh, yeah. "Will you marry me?", "I love you," **** like that.

Jeff:
Come on, when your wife is a romantic mood,

do you ever think about taking one of those little pills?

Walter:
Cyanide? Oh, yeah. I do actually.

Jeff:
Come on, what does your wife put on when she's feeling frisky at bedtime?

Walter:
Night vision goggles. Then she sneaks around the

house and hunts my ass down. It is scary stuff, my friends.

Jeff:
When was the last time you even put your arms around your wife?

Walter:
A couple of weeks ago when she was choking on a piece of steak.

Rate this script:5.0 / 2 votes

Jeff Dunham

Jeffrey "Jeff" Dunham (born April 18, 1962) is an American ventriloquist and comedian who has also appeared on numerous television shows, including Late Show with David Letterman, Comedy Central Presents, The Tonight Show and Sonny With a Chance. He has six specials that run on Comedy Central: Jeff Dunham: Arguing with Myself, Jeff Dunham: Spark of Insanity, Jeff Dunham's Very Special Christmas Special, Jeff Dunham: Controlled Chaos, Jeff Dunham: Minding the Monsters, and Jeff Dunham: All Over the Map. Dunham also starred in The Jeff Dunham Show, a series on the network in 2009.His style has been described as "a dressed-down, more digestible version of Don Rickles with multiple personality disorder". Describing his characters, Time magazine said, "All of them are politically incorrect, gratuitously insulting and ill tempered." Dunham has been credited with reviving ventriloquism, and doing more to promote the art form than anyone since Edgar Bergen.Dunham has been called "America's favorite comedian" by Slate.com, and according to the concert industry publication Pollstar, he is the top-grossing standup act in North America, and is among the most successful acts in Europe as well. As of November 2009, he has sold over four million DVDs, an additional $7 million in merchandise sales, and received more than 350 million hits on YouTube as of October 2009 (his introduction of Achmed the Dead Terrorist in Spark of Insanity was ranked as the ninth most watched YouTube video at the time). A Very Special Christmas Special was the most-watched telecast in Comedy Central history, with its DVD selling over 400,000 in its first two weeks. Forbes.com ranked Dunham as the third highest-paid comedian in the United States behind Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock, and reported that he was one of the highest-earning comics from June 2008 to June 2009, earning approximately $30 million during that period. Dunham also does occasional acting roles. He achieved the Guinness Book of World Records record for "Most tickets sold for a stand-up comedy tour" for his Spark of Insanity tour, performing in 386 venues worldwide. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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