Under The Yum Yum Tree Page #4

Thank you, Hogey.

You're adorable. You really are.

I always say,

"Happy tenants make a happy landlord. "

- Bye.

- Bye-bye.

- Hi, Hogan.

- Hi, Clyde. Wow!

Hey, buddy!

Apartment for rent?

Where do you find the landlord?

Well, you're looking at him, son,

but I never rent to men.

That's a rule of the house.

Besides, I was young once myself.

I know how wild you kids can get.

Now, wait a minute, sir. I'm not like that.

I'm on the track team.

I said, I'm on the track team.

The worst kind.

Pole-vaulting, high hurdling around here.

This is a very respectable unit, my boy.

It's all elderly,

family-type folk around here.

Yeah, chess and checkers group,

maybe a bingo once a month.

- Besides, you couldn't afford the rent.

- Try me.

- $450 a month.

- I can't afford it.

I didn't think you could.

Up in Miss Wilson's.

- Can I help you with anything?

- No. Are you the new tenant?

- No, I'm the landlord.

- The landlord.

- Yeah. I live right across...

- Well, you have an adorable apartment here.

- Well, thank you.

- I raced right over

as soon as I heard it was vacated.

It just slays me every time I see it.

- You've been here before?

- Yes, my aunt had it. Irene Wilson.

Well, you're the niece

she was always talking about?

I can't understand

why she'd want to give it up.

It's absolutely dream...

Don't let that bother you. It sounds like

somebody's strangling, doesn't it?

- It's just the pipes clearing their throats.

- Yes.

It doesn't bother me at all.

I think it's just sensational.

Does it have linen and pots and pans

and all?

- Oh, yeah, sure, everything.

- It's swell.

- And everything's just in the right place.

- That's exactly so true, isn't it?

You know, I'm a very bad businesswoman,

raving about it like this.

- Why?

- The price is probably sky-high.

- $75 a month.

- You're kidding?

- Too much?

- No, no, no. It's wonderful.

I mean, well, $75 is a lot of money for me,

- but I certainly think it's worth it.

- Yeah.

And may I have it, please?

Well, don't you think, first, we should know

each other's name? I'm Hogan.

Well, how do you do, Mr. Hogan?

I'm Robin Austin.

Robin Austin.

But not "Mr. Hogan," just Hogan.

None of my tenants ever call me "mister. "

I live right across the hall.

- Do you? That's very nice.

- Yeah.

Do you want to see references

or something like that?

- You've already shown me your references.

- What?

No, that won't be necessary.

We'll get to those nasty little details,

like a lease and all, some later day?

- You mean, that's it?

- That's it.

There you are. There's the key,

and welcome to the Centaur.

What an adorable key.

And heart-shaped, too.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes