Uncle Buck Page #5

You ever hear of a tune-up?

You ever hear of a ritual killing?

I don't get it.

Gnaw on her face in public

like that again and you'll be one.

- Are you crazy?

- I can be.

- You could've taken his head off.

- But would he notice?

Can we get something straight?

The guy's a predator

and you're his prey.

- Really?

- You bet.

- How do you know?

- When I was his age, I was the guy...

zooming the girls like you.

Pretty face, big chip on your shoulder.

I recommend you stay out

of my personal life.

Do your parents stay out

of your personal lie?

They don't know my personal life.

- Have they met Twiddle Dink?

- His name is Bug.

- First or last?

- First.

What's his last name, Spray?

You should talk, Buck.

No. No.

N-O. Don't look at me like that.

Don't!

That's not fair.

Don't you have a favorite doll

or something?

Why don't we get your doll

and put your dad's pajamas on him?

Your brother!

What about your brother?

How about the dog?

You know the dog.

You can't.

You just can't.

It's a new law.

That's it.

It's in the books.

You don't want to sleep with me.

Can somebody get that, please?

Do I have to do everything

around here?

- Yo.

- Hi, sweetie. How are you?

Fine. I'm earning my keep.

Uncle Buck's got me bustin' my hump.

He says hard work

will put hair on my chest.

At least I'm learning a trade.

That's good.

Grandpa's feeling better.

He sends you

big hugs and kisses.

Tell him to hang in there.

- Can you get Uncle Buck?

- Will do, chickie.

Mom?

- Hi.

- Next time you take off...

why don't you hire a murderer

to watch the house?

This guy's a joke.

Why don't you go your way

and let him go his?

While he systematically

dismantles my life?

Another drawback is

that I'm a big drooler.

You could wake up

thinking you were asleep in a swamp.

- Mom's on the phone.

- Good. I'll be right there.

The guy took off

and left Miles and Maizy alone.

Plus he drinks.

- Did you brush your teeth?

- Yeah. Feel my toothbrush.

I have a friend who works at

the crime lab at the police station.

I could give him your toothbrush

and he could run a test on it to see...

if you actually brushed your teeth

or ran your toothbrush under the faucet.

If that's true, we're going to really

have to start brushing our teeth.

How are you?

- I'm okay. How's everything?

- Good, good.

- You sure?

- Everything is fine here.

- Everything's fine.

- Kids are okay?

The kids are great!

We're having a great time together.

How's your dad?

He's okay.

He's getting better. Thanks.

That's good news.

That's encouraging.

I've got a good feeling about this.

He's gonna be fine.

I got a few questions for you.

You got an interesting set of plates

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