Unaccompanied Minors Page #5

Then, the abominable snowman...

...who transforms

the Emergency Equipment Center...

...into his own private amusement park

and then blames it on Aquaman?

Aren't you a little too old

to be playing with dolls?

I mean, what are you, like 40?

Actually, Beef is 12, sir.

Good Lord.

And Charlie Goldfinch...

...my most frequent underage flyer.

And formerly model passenger.

Karaoke, son?

Was it worth it?

I had a song in my heart.

Oh, my gosh, I'm a juvie.

I think you can all see that I have

a very compelling case...

...to keep you here in the U.M.

On Christmas Eve.

But who's gonna take care of them?

You are, Van Bourke.

And unless you enjoy unemployment...

...you'll make sure they don't

get out of this room again.

The phone lines at the airport

are still down.

Just call Spencer's cell phone.

Why don't you do that?

Sam talked me out of getting him one.

He said millions of them

were polluting landfills already.

He's never gonna make it

from Pennsylvania.

There's just no way.

He doesn't even have a real car!

You married a guy with a vegetable car.

This is good. This is good!

Me and you on the roads. Two guys.

I don't imagine there are gonna be many

biodiesel depots open on Christmas Eve...

...so I've packed you a little holiday meal.

I hope you like vegetarian.

I hope you like vegetarian.

Katherine can't have Christmas morning

without Santa Claus.

Let's go.

Road trip!

I got the last rooms. We'll have to pack

the sky brats in like sardines.

I wanna go home. I don't wanna

get packed in like a sardine.

Santa's never gonna find me here.

I didn't understand a word of that.

So, little girl...

...how would you like to stay

with Mary Lynn and me?

Who's Mary Lynn?

Only the world's sweetest

sweetie pie, that's who.

Hi. I'm Mary Lynn. We're gonna

have loads of fun together.

Okay. You listen, and you listen good.

I've never had a little sister,

so you're gonna be my test run.

I am going to braid your hair, little girl.

And even if you try to say no,

you'll face the consequences.

Get it? Got it? Good!

So there is some good news.

Your cots are ready.

Yeah, I'll be right back.

This is so not the Christmas

I had in mind.

Oh, poor baby.

I bet you have nice Christmases,

don't you, rich kid?

Where does your family go?

Paris? London? Fiji?

Please. Fiji's a zoo this time of year.

We go skiing in Utah.

Are your folks still together?

Yeah.

- Then I hate you.

- I'm not wild about you either.

Well, I love Christmas.

And I'm Jewish.

My mom's boyfriend says...

...that Christmas is when

Frosty the Snowman fights with the devil.

It talks.

- I'm getting out of here.

- What are you talking about?

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