Twin Town Page #2

up to the club please.

Feed Cantona, have a bath, and...

leave your father's glue alone.

So long!

Big night on Friday:

West Wales Semis.

- Bring the Missus.

- He knows 80 numbers solid now...

81 with "My Way" in f***ing Welsh.

What's your big number, Chip?

"Like a f***ing Virgin"!

Only one he know off by heart.

No, there's a lot of mileage

in this karaoke lark, Fatty.

Karaoke's killing the f***ing

Welsh choir music, Dai.

You can't beat a male voice choir.

That's proper f***ing singing.

Well, we're gonna be

the karaoke kings. Right Dai?

King and f***ing queen more like!

What the f*** are you laughing at?

F***ing twat!

- Sorry Terry. We didn't see you.

- Are you f***ing blind, or what?

Terry, you weren't f***ing looking!

- What the f*** are you laughing at?

- I'm not laughing, Terry. Look.

F***ing don't.

You still on for this stuff, Dai?

- You got the gear?

- You got the cash?

Up the club.

See you there.

- Hang on, Dai.

- What?

Put your seat belts on.

Clunk-click,

every f***ing trip.

I said what's the best color top

in the Premier League...

and you said Man U black.

And I f***ing had you.

Right. You gotta do a toke under

water and hold it five seconds.

1, 2, 3, 4,

4 and a half.

Alright.

This will f***ing have you.

Why is it that some teams

corner flags and halfway flags...

are triangular and some

are f***ing square?

Go on then.

Never f***ing get this one.

F***ing hell!

I know this.

I f***ing know it.

It has something to do with...

Premier and Endsleigh League

stadium capacities.

No, it's not.

I know!

If they've got square flags...

the crowd knows

they're on f***ing telly.

Innit?

'Cause the square flags is like a telly.

Then the crowd can tell if

the f***ing game's on telly.

You don't f***ing know do you!

You haven't got a f***ing clue!

- Go on then!

- It's because...

if you've won the FA cup...

that means you can have triangular

flags on your f***ing pitch...

because you've won the f***ing cup.

And that is f***ing right.

That's why Cardiff has got triangles

and Swansea has got f***ing squares.

So if Swansea wins the cup...

we gets triangular flags.

- F*** off!

- It's in the book.

Come on.

Ten f***ing seconds!

Nice bit of sheep dip,

by the way.

Here, you got a Versace

down here, Taff.

- No.

- Kwik-Fit.

Right. Better catch a Choo-choo

back to civilization.

Be lucky. And if you

can't be lucky, top yourself.

And if all else fails...

try Wales.

F*** me!

Two World Wars

and one World Cup they won.

You'd never f***ing believe it.

- Prick.

- Give us a look.

- Come on man.

- Wait.

- Come on.

- F***ing murder you are, Terry.

Steady on, Terry.

- That is a cheeky bit of Charlie.

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