Tucker and Dale vs Evil Page #6

Survival of the fittest!

What are you doing, man?

That's my whole face.

You have serious issues, you know that?

- Quick. Somebody's coming.

- Oh, sh*t. Oh, sh*t...

And the answer was, "isosceles triangle".

You know what that is?

Is it a triangle?

Yeah.

Tucker, you would have been proud of me.

A smart little college girl like that,

and I was beating the crap out of her.

- Dale.

- Yeah?

You beat the crap outta everybody.

There's something wrong with your brain.

I know. You keep telling me that.

Tell you what, when we get back I'll finish her

off real quick then we'll get back to work.

They're gonna kill her!

- Somebody was just here.

- Oh, yeah. It's a hatchet.

College kids!

- College kids!

- Say it again. Louder.

- College kids!

- Hey, college kids!

College kids!

I don't see 'em.

They must have run off.

Well, hmm... Maybe we could leave

them a note in case they come back.

All right. With what?

- Well, this'll work.

- All right. Please, hurry up.

- My face is as hot as a haemorrhoid.

- Yeah, you don't look so good. OK.

- Careful.

- I'm gonna have to etch it in.

Uh-huh, I got my cootie shot.

You think that girl is hot...

- Dale?

- Yeah? Huh...

- Did you guys find my friends?

- Uh, whoa.

Whoa.

- What?

- Huh? What?

Your friends? No, no.

Uh, we left them a note.

They should be by here any minute.

- What are you doing?

- Oh, I'm digging a shitter hole.

I'm digging a crap... crapper hole.

It's a...

It's a hole.

It's for the shithouse. Craphouse...

- Outhouse hole.

- An outhouse hole.

- Right. You mind if I help?

- What? No!

No, no, it's not work for a pretty...

for a girl like you. That's...

Oh.

I grew up on a farm.

It was either help out or get out.

That's a good rule.

Yeah. So I've done this before,

believe it or not.

Yeah.

You gonna help,

or just stand there staring at me?

- Uh... No, I'm gonna help. I'll just...

- I can't dig this on my own.

Yeah, yeah.

- Yeah, you're doing a good job.

- Thank you.

That sick f***.

He's making her dig her own grave.

We don't have much time.

- Does everybody have their weapons?

- All set, man.

All right, you guys go around, get the guy

at the wood chipper. You take the big guy.

I'm gonna just chill right here.

OK, one more load and we're done.

Hey, come on, get out. Here.

Now!

Huh?

Oh, good, look, your friends are here. Hey!

Dale!

Oh, God!

Are you OK?

Allison, say something!

- Tucker! Tucker!

- Holy mother of God!

You'll never beli... What happened to you?

- Are you OK?

- What happened to me?

Some kid, he just hucked himself

right into the wood chipper!

- What?

- Headfirst right into the wood chipper!

From his shoes and pants, it looked like

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