Tube Tales Page #4

- I ain't got nothing.

- No, no, no. Fag.

Fag, tin.

Put the fag in the tin.

F*** me.

- What 's that?

- Swear box, ain't it?

Is it? F*** me.

What do you think you're doing?

- What does it look as if I'm doing?

- Causing a hazard, that 's what.

This is my luggage, I'm taking it.

Be a good man and take the front end.

- Take the trolley down the steps.

- You think you're the Queen Mother?

I'm certainly not your mother.

Now come along.

- It 's got wheels.

- So has a pram!

Come.

All right?

Have you got a hold of this?

Cause we could all fall down!

Would you mind? I think I shall have

to report you to your superior.

No one else would let you do this.

Don't you tell him I let you on.

- Carry on.

- Don't tell where you got on either.

Smother up.

Smother up.

He ain't got you.

Look at the state of you.

I drag you through a bush.

Pick a number one to twenty-four.

Twenty-four.

No, not one or twenty-four.

Something in the middle.

Twenty-three.

You laughing at me?

That is a blinding horse.

I fancy that twenty-five to one.

...becomes the Southern. What?

Yes, that 's right, the Southern.

Not the great Southern, the Southern.

I beg your pardon?

It 's not Brunel. It 's not the great

Western. It does go to Paddington.

It 's not the man with the stoat-pipe

hat. That came later, much later.

We talked about the 1947 conversion.

And that was the important thing...

when they suddenly decided

to take 200 and put it into 400.

Four won't go. Were not talking

fractions, we're talking railways.

0f course that 's a difference.

That 's what made it the difference.

I was necessary, it was sufficient,

but it didn't happen. It 's obvious.

Can't put a gallon into a pint pot.

But you can put a pint into a gallon.

It was only retraced back from the

first time. 0ld hats on new heads.

When they started talking about the

streets, it just had to happen.

- Two parallel lines of steam.

- Wait here.

You can't hide the physical

behind the metaphysical.

Definitions.

But you just can't do that.

That 's what I'm trying to tell you,

but you won't listen.

F***ing hell!

Teddy! Teddy!

It 's all right, son. Teddy!

Teddy!

Come here!

I got you.

It 's all right, it 's all right.

You're all right. All right.

Come on. Daddy's got you.

Come on, I got you.

It 's all right.

It was horrible.

Why did that man jump

under the train, dad?

He didn't jump, he fell.

Someone fell, all right?

That has to do with relativity.

Not... No.

Gerard was the first man to write

a travel book in Latin in 1198.

Bye.

0h, no!

- You don't know the words.

- I don't have to know the words!

Everyone is getting annoyed with us.

Look at them all.

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