Transamerica Page #3

because you're lying to me.

ls there anything else

you'd like to say?

There appears to be a step-father.

PerIhaps I can affect a reunion.

Have you ever head of

a place called Callicoon?

l just conferred with

my immediate superior at the church.

lt seems she feels

that getting you away

from this unwholesome

environment is my moral duty.

Free ride, free food,

free hotel rooms,

all the way to L.A.

Uh-huh.

Nothin's free.

You're gonna end up marryin' her

and spending the rest of your life

eating out cob-webby

old stank Christian p*ssy.

Hey, something

for the road, my man?

The finest Tecate.

F***, no, man.

l'm givin' that sh*t up.

Come on. lt's only

five dollars a bag over street price.

Convenience charge.

We could take it out of your cut

if she buys the car.

F*** you, dude.

All right.

Whatever.

You're the man.

No, wait. Hey.

l'm not marrying you.

Glory Hallelujah.

Almost new fan belt.

l changed the oil

a couple of months ago.

Only 230,000 miles.

lt just needs a little paint.

That's all.

lt runs perfect.

Guaranteed.

l've already arranged a rental.

But with this one,

when you get to California,

you could resell, make a profit.

A profit?

Fasten your seatbelt.

l don't like wearing them.

Well, l don't like the idea

of seeing your internal organs

splattered all over the dashboard

in case we get in a wreck,

God forbid, so put it on.

See this shirt?

Only cost me two dollars.

- Quel surprise.

- And the shoes.

Three dollars-- $1 .50 each.

You know how much these things

are worth in Japan?

- Three dollars.

- Like $500.

Japanese people

will kill for old Nikes.

Then you probably

should avoid wearing them in Japan.

Yeah, l'd probably be,

like, disemboweled by a ninja.

You don't have to say ''Like.''

''Probably disemboweled

by a ninja'' is sufficient.

And please don't put your feet

up on the dashboard.

No smoking in the car.

l thought instead

of going west on route 95,

we'd wind through

the mountains on route 20.

- Route 20 takes us close to Callicoon.

- l don't want to go there.

What l find absolutely

beyond comprehension

is how a person can perform

all those intimate acts

with just any stranger off the street.

Why should you give a sh*t?

Because it's

the Christian thing to do.

How much money did you make

per...assignation?

Forty or fifty dollars.

Are we gonna be

goin' through Texas?

lt's a pretty hard state to avoid.

Do you have any money for some food?

Oh.

Uh, l'm sorry l can't offer you

a private room.

The church has to conserve

its resources.

l've charted us a course

on the nice little red routes.

Callicoon is only about

l don't wanna go there.

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