Toy Soldiers Page #3

If we threw you out, would you live

with your mother or your father?

I don't exactly have a burning desire

to live with either one of them.

Then what's behind this perverse desire

to risk getting thrown out of school?

You think I set out to get caught?

I don't think you do it

purely for fun.

I was having loads of fun

until you came along.

- Should I pack or what?

- Shut up and sit down.

Stop acting like such a tough guy.

It doesn't impress me.

I'm not going to expel you.

Three schools have done that...

and it's obviously done nothing

for your character.

- Are you listening to me?

- Yes, sir.

I'm gonna do much worse.

I am going to keep you here

until you graduate.

It will probably take years

at this rate.

I might wear you out before then.

Don't you worry about

wearing me out.

I'm gonna wear you out.

Well?

He wanted to know why

I have such a bad attitude.

Did he kick you out?

No.

He put me on pots and pans

for the rest of the semester.

Could be worse.

He could have smashed my kneecaps

with a ball-peen hammer.

God, that f***er.

That a**hole!

Get up. Get up!

We gotta strike back.

We have to do something

epic tonight...

or else I'm gonna look like

a douche bag to the entire school.

You were born looking

like a douche bag.

Come on, Joey. Get dressed!

I don't want to, man. I want to

go to sleep, dream aboutJennifer.

Later.

It was f***ing humiliating, man.

Okay.

See, they're up for it.

- You know me. I'm always up for it.

- Good.

What am I up for tonight?

I don't know.

I'm thinking about it.

- Fire hoses.

- That's been done.

Cherry bombs in the toilets.

It's too destructive. That would let

the dean know he got under our skin.

No, it's gotta be

cooler than that.

It's gotta be something witty,

something elegant.

Why don't you think about it

while I take a nap?

I got it. I got it. Come on.

You'll love this.

Come in.

Sir, Dr. Gould would like

to see you right away in the quad.

Check it out.

It's the headmaster's furniture.

Try not to laugh.

I'm trying.

I mean, just look at this.

The blotter, the pen,

the teacup on my desk.

Everything just

as I left it last night.

You know what

I'd really like to do?

That's to work out here all day.

I don't suppose that would be

too good for discipline, would it?

- I'm afraid not.

- Yes.

- Any idea who did it?

- Very good idea.

Don't be too hard on them.

It's much better than fire hoses in the

chapel or cherry bombs in the toilet.

- You!

- Yo, Billy!

And you.

And you two.

You gentlemen have the honor

of returning this furniture...

back to its original place.

Pick up that banana.

Are there any objections?

- No, sir.

- No, sir.

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