Tour de Pharmacy Page #4

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which is a good sign.

Is-a not my fault!

I lose-a sight of the road!

Man:
Hey, JuJu!

People:

Whoa!

Hamm:

Jabin Dolchey was known for two things:

Fighting and his outfits

that he claimed to be made

from a high-tech breathable

material he called Spanlon.

Jabin Dolchey!

Speed the competition!

He was an odd bird,

and he seemed proud

of what everyone could see

was a very tiny,

misshaped penis.

Hamm:
Jabin's punch kicked off the

most massive scuffle in Tour history.

Honeycut:

Well, this is just awful.

These men are literally trying

to tear one another apart.

Cyclists are

incredible athletes

as far as

endurance goes,

but a great deal of

'em fight like little b*tches.

Tyson:
They had a dance party,

and people said it was a fight.

As a boxer,

it was offensive to me.

And as is with every

accident near Switzerland,

a Saint Bernard is

the first responder.

It's really peaty.

They tried to

hurt each other,

but I am a...

a peaceful person.

I don't do things

like that.

Please!

No! No! I beg you!

No! No! Please! I'm naked!

Please put me down!

Everything I did that day,

I did in self-defense.

Hamm:

French authorities finally arrived

and put the kibosh

on the fracas.

The first day

was canceled,

but with no major injuries,

the race was expected

to resume the following day,

were it not

for a forsaken water bottle.

Ah!

Ooh!

Woo!

If you take too strong

a dose of amphetamines,

they can act

as a super powerful aphrodisiac.

No, no, no.

Oui.

No!

No! No!

No.

No.

When I took a large

dose of amphetamines,

I ended up

having sex with a...

Oh, we have to try every drug

on our banned list,

so we know what

we're dealing with.

I actually paint what

the experiences are like,

so I can remember

the effects of each drug.

Would you like to see them?

So, this is what I painted

while I was on amphetamines.

It's kind of what I felt like

when I did the drug.

Yeah.

This is when

I did crack cocaine,

so you can see how similar

the two drugs are.

Oh, this is from

when I did meth.

So, you can see that meth is a very

different drug than the other two.

Yeah.

And all of these

are for sale.

Hamm:

In an attempt to quell the media frenzy,

the water bottle created,

Ditmer Klerken held

a press conference.

Ditmer, Ditmer.

There are reports that you asked every rider

for $50,000 if they did not want

to be drug tested.

Is... is that true?

Yeah, that's true.

I mean, no. F***! No. I mean...

no, I mean it's not... not true.

Ah f***! Ah.

Now you guys are never

going to believe me

because I said

it was true right away.

But no, no, no, that's...

that's not true.

But does anybody know

if you admit to something

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