
Tour de Pharmacy
- TV-MA
- Year:
- 2017
- 39 min
- 101 Views
(0.00 / 0 votes)Edgar Wright:
Stage 13 of the Tour de France,
quite possibly
the most difficult climb
of the entire race.
But one rider,
Italy's JuJu Peppi,
is absolutely burning up
this mountain...
...nearing the top
of the Pyrenees
minutes ahead of the pack.
He's practically
dancing on the pedals
as he blasts
past other riders,
showing no signs of fatigue.
Jon Hamm The Tour de France,
the crme de la crme of cycling.
At some point during
the three-week race,
half the world
will tune in.
With 3.5 billion viewers,
it is far and away
the most-watched
sporting event on Earth,
but it is also perhaps
the most controversial.
Wright:
JuJu's opened an impressive lead
with his
record-setting pace.
JuJu now relieving himself,
which is a thing
as he continues
to burn up the mountainside.
Unbelievable!
JuJu Peppi's legs pumping away,
pushing his body
to its absolute limits!
How is he doing this?
How is he doing this?
Hamm:
And just then...
...JuJu Peppi's
heart exploded.
Wright:
Here we go!He's into the tuck for the downhill.
No one even knew
he was dead
for about
12 kilometers.
Wright:
Look at that form!
He's perfectly still
for optimum wind resistance!
Hamm:
He died...with his dick out.
In the autopsy,
they found out
JuJu was on EPO
and cocaine.
Also, some insulin
and anabolic steroids,
Oxabolone
and Nandrolone.
Trace amounts of
Norethandrolone and Furazabol.
They even found some
heroin in his system.
There was also Letrozole
and Cyclazadone,
some estrogen
receptor modulators,
Raloxifene
and Tamoxifen...
probably to ward off
breast growth.
A lot of Oxycodone
in his blood,
Phentermine as well.
Ortetamine, Bunolol,
and Labetalol.
Plus he had apparently
huffed ethanol
and taken
a couple MDAs.
crystal meth and/or crack,
and there was a hormone
from monkey testicles
that he had cooked down
into a broth that he drank.
He also
had apparently eaten
at least one sandwich
from Arby's.
Hamm:
JuJu Peppigave himself a huge edge
at the 1982 Tour de France with
performance-enhancing drugs.
Man:
Oh my God!
Man:
What the f*ck?Jesus Christ!
Hamm:
But he was far from alone that year.
In what has now become known
as the Tour de Pharmacy,
athletes took drug abuse to a level
never seen before or thereafter,
creating supermen
in Superman spandex,
attempting to traverse
2,179 miles
and over some of the most treacherous
mountain ranges on the planet.
But how do you tell
the story of a bike race,
the story
of 170 extreme personalities
all vying
for a common goal?
You probably could,
but it would take forever.
Luckily, we only have to tell
the story of five of them.
Rex Honeycut:
Well,the atmosphere is positively electric
as the town of Basel
has gathered to greet
the riders who have come
from all over the world.
Here's one now,
arriving all the way from the United States,
Slim Robinson.
Hey.
Hi, Slim. Welcome.
Slim Robinson was
sports royalty.
His uncle was Jackie Robinson,
who, of course,
in professional baseball.
And throughout his life,
Slim excelled at many different sports,
but obviously struggled
to stand out like his uncle,
because he wasn't
the only black athlete...
until he found cycling,
which was very white.
And it made him happy,
because it was the last sport
where he could break
the color line.
My uncle was the first
black something.
I wanted to be the first
black something too.
First one to ever
do it, baby. Woo!
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"Tour de Pharmacy" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 10 Apr. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/tour_de_pharmacy_22138>.