Toilet Stories Page #3

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Like the guy in jeans who Michi invited.

In jeans!

You mean Reiner'? - Exactly. He said his

father's an electrician in front of everyone.

Incredible.

I'll invite the caretaker next time, too.

His father's a carpenter.

- Oh, it doesn't matter.

I found him quite likable.

- If you're into chimpanzees.

His chest hair was incredible.

I thought it was a toupee.

We spent some time together after dinner.

He was all charged up. Maybe that's why

I thought his dad was an electrician!

It was just a one-night stand.

As far as I'm concerned.

He still sends me texts.

Oh?

Well,

I should've known

you'd be uptight about it.

What's that supposed to mean?

- Nothing.

But I don't regret it.

So... what have you been up to lately?

Working.

Working?

Surely you don't need to!

What does Constantin say about that?

Nothing.

Six weeks till the games.

We need a world record for gold.

No kidding, Ludmilla.

I told you we should send Loni

to a training camp in the Andes or somewhere.

Like all the other top athletes.

Never mind. We're here now and we'll fix it.

Dilution?

We'll manage, dear.

Manage what?

- To win gold. Your gold medal.

This is my life!

We all know that.

You're number one!

- Let's keep cool.

The anti-gold guys

are breathing down our necks.

And how?

- Substitute urine.

That's our only chance.

- It won't work.

Kleinschmidt busted Zimmermann

just last week.

That heptathlete...

Kleinschmidt's focused on the gold.

She'll stop at nothing to make headlines.

I've earned this.

Of course.

It's about a level playing field.

How did she do it?

Did Zimmennann hide the urine

in her vagina? - Yes.

We won't do that then.

We'll use the men's method.

96 to 8.

96 to 8.

My wife and daughter.

Sweet, aren't they'?

I've carried that picture around with me

for 30 years.

You know,

I normally picked them up in the car

when they'd been at Aunt Irmgard's,

but I was playing Skat that night.

Skat was usually on Wednesdays,

but that week was different.

So they look the bus.

So I...

came home and no one was there,

so I called Aunt Irmgard and she said...

"They took the bus

at 8:
15 pm."

The next morning, the police came

into my office.

I'd specifically told them

to take the 7:
47 PM bus,

while it was still light.

They always took the 7:47 bus.

That Heise guy,

they nabbed him soon after that, thank God.

Married, two kids,

a respectable job.

"The Beast of Barsbttel."

Maybe you've heard of him.

They had to let him go

due to a lack of evidence.

Everyone knew. Even the judge said,

"Heise did it."

Can you imagine?

Yes,

it was a difficult time for me.

Mr. Rolfes to gardening.

The worst part is,

people treat you like an outcast.

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