TiMER Page #3

from attacking them from behind

You were supposed to be here

a half an hour ago!

Take a pill.

Jesse's got his entire life to wait.

Our punctuality isn't gonna

speed up the process.

You know...

A positive attitude might help.

That worked like gangbusters

for you this morning, huh?

It's a process of elimination,

and I'm one step closer, is all.

Here. It's perfect.

Oh, absolutely not, no. Here.

Oh. Did he have a Timer?

Of course he had a Timer.

Timerless guys are so

angsty and conflicted.

Boys with built-in expiration dates,

now they wanna sow their oats.

Multiple tantric oats.

They're just using you.

I'm using them. Win-win.

I don't--

You have scientific proof that these

idiots are a waste of your time,

and yet, you go after them anyway.

It cannot be as satisfying as you say.

Yeah, you know, blazing hot

anonymous sex is super-tedious.

You know what? I think

we should get a cat.

Oona.

Scale of 1-10:
How sad

are you about Brian?

6.5. You know what, though...

It's fine. It's not

even about Brian.

I just wanna know. You know?

Even if it says I'm not

gonna meet him until I'm...

What? 43?

Hi, Mom. I'm sorry. You know what,

we're on our way. I swear.

Hi-hi! Sorry we're late. We're here!

Oona's fault!

Hi.

Hola.

Are we in the right house?

You're here!

Hi-hi!

Hi Mom.

Hi, Steph.

Girls, this is our

new housekeeper, Luz.

Luz, this is my daughter, Oona,

and Paul's daughter, Steph.

Mucho gusto.

Good night, Luz.

Thank you for your work today.

Buenas noches.

Not a lick of English.

This is exciting!

Isn't this exciting?

So where's Brian?

He's not my One.

Oh, sugar. Oh, I'm sorry.

Why did you have to take him

today, of all days?

Because you said it would

be double the celebration.

Brian was never right for you

anyway. We all knew that.

Tell it, Marion. Amen!

Steph, baby. Don't make me

come after you and your life.

Sorry.

Oona. You're being very stoic

and we all appreciate it.

Now on to the next

potential One, right?

Now, Matchmaker Ron has

been here for over an hour!

- Jesse!

- Yeah?

Good. Okay, everybody this way!

Hi. Are you so excited?

- Oona, don't be a douche.

- What? I'm happy for him.

Jesse Aaron Depaul, I certify that

you are of Timer-eligible age.

This being the first month of

your ninth grade school year.

Are you ready, baby?

Piece of cake, Jess.

Even if you won't have any

of your original teeth

by the time you meet her.

Or him!

I'm not gay, Mom.

Can we get this over with?

Jess.

I will give you new teeth,

if you need them.

But just so you know, whatever happens,

You're gonna have someone out there

who loves you as much as we do.

Take a deep breath, hun.

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