TiMER Page #2

that over half of Americans

ages 14 or older

will have Timers.

A recent independent study

revealed a 98% satisfaction rating

among newly zeroed-out couples.

It's like a fairy tale.

I saw him first from across the room.

And then he looked at me

and I knew instantly.

Everybody turned to look,

and then people were clapping.

On the 15th anniversary

of the invention of the Timer

we're talking to zeroed-out couples.

Eric and Tammi zeroed-out

over 5 years ago.

I was totally skeptical, I didn't--

I just wasn't gonna believe that

a stop watch was gonna tell me

who to love, you know,

but it's not like that.

What would you say to people who

still don't believe it works?

It doesn't tell you who to love,

It just kinda confirms

what you already know.

What you already feel

in your heart, but

when you're ready for it...

It just works out.

It's nice.

What?

Why are you whispering?

I'm not.

Where are you?

Church.

Brian isn't my One.

I'm shocked!

Call me back when you've

found your underwear.

You got it.

How'd it go?

Brian isn't my One.

Hey, Priscilla.

(muffled) Hello.

You wanna get these braces

taken off today?

(muffled) Really?

Uh... She's got another month,

Dr. O'Leary.

She's just here for a loose wire.

Yeah, but a month is negligible.

Especially when school's

back in session next week.

My little brother is

starting his freshman year.

He's so cute, I could just

punch him in the face.

These braces are coming off

today, pretty girl.

(muffled) Yeah!

You ever hear the one about the

single gal in the supermarket?

It's an oldie, but a goodie.

F*** it, I'll tell ya.

She brings all her stuff

up to the register

four-pack of toilet paper,

microwaveable dinners,

that sort of thing.

The check-out guy looks at

all of her stuff and he asks:

"Hey, are you single?"

She kinda giggles, and she's like

"Why, can you tell by all the

stuff I'm buying, like all the

single-serve items?"

He's like "No, 'cause

you're f***in' ugly."

I thought that would have

gone over a lot better.

Really?

Yeah. I kinda thought you

would've got the irony.

- Missed it.

- Well, I mean...

with you being so pretty, and all.

Good one.

I'm 100% sincere on that.

Your total is $30.29.

Sorry.

One more time.

Let me see. Thank you.

I see your Timer's blank.

- And?

- Nothing.

You're sweating your future,

though, right?

That's a shame. 'Cause you could

have a much more exciting present

if you really wanted.

I'll keep that in mind.

Mikey.

Of course.

So long.

- Bye-bye.

- Take care.

In the jungles of Bangladesh,

Sunni fighters,

called Mwali,

wear facemasks on

the back of their heads

to deter hungry Bengal tigers

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