Tim Minchin: So Live Page #3

mini-cab could cost you,

You seen these?

ask a rape victim."

That's so- that- I felt shocked!

I was like "Look, I get the point you're trying to get across,

I mean it's very important, but

in the middle of the street! A child could read-" I was-

I just thought, that's not necessary, that sort of thing.

But I sure learnt my lesson.

Because a couple of nights later,

after I saw this sign, I was in Soho,

having a drink with some friends,

I went to the bar, and I met a girl, you know,

just "What are you getting?", that sort of meeting.

And I got talking to this girl, she was a

really great girl, and we got chatting, and

we talked all night, be we got pretty drunk, um.

And eventually it got sort of, heavy, the conversation,

and she disclosed to me that she had been, um,

the victim of a sexual assault.

So I asked her

how much

an illegal mini-cab would cost,

from Soho to New North Rd, near Old St,

where I was staying.

And I'll never forget what she said.

She said:

"About 8.50."

I mean, it was closer to 9,

but I'm surprised this system works at all.

But apart from the, sort of, ambulances,

and the dangerous public transport,

London, ah, is great. It's definitely the place for me,

because, to be honest, um,

I'm trying to,

I'm trying to get famous.

And, uh, you know, celebrities belong

in London, I think.

It's a great place for them to bring up

the kids they've bought.

Off poor people who live in less great places.

And I'm not doing great, but I have met some famous people.

I've gotta tell you about this gig,

cause it was really exciting.

I did a charity gig, and I had to go on stage

after Mariah Carey!

I kinda went straight after her,

and played 'Inflatable You'.

It wasn't deliberate, but it sure resonated

with a poignancy that it hadn't before.

I was standing- I was really nervous, as you can imagine,

I was standing backstage, watching this woman, this-

one of the greatest

pop voices of all time, just tearing it to

shreds on stage,in this tiny little dress, going-

And I was just thinking, well, how can I go on after that?

You know? That's amazing!

And this dude is backstage,

dude came up to me and said, uh,

"She's lip-syncing."

Oh, I thought "What a jip!", you know?

Suddenly, the magic

that is Mariah Carey kinda disappeared. You know, it's,

it felt like I was watching a sort of cheap drag show.

But without the intrigue of transvesticism.

To my knowledge.

And also I thought: "Sure, Mariah,

you're a professional, you have your reasons.

Lip-sync if you want to.

But if you're gonna lip-sync,

why would you do a Mariah Carey song?"

This is a song about the music industry,

trying to get famous, and having no depth.

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