Three Men in a Boat Page #6

We had packed three bath towels,

so as not to keep each other waiting.

Well, who's going in first?

I mean, I don't think I ought to go in

because of my kidneys.

- And because of your liver.

- Liver. Yeah, yeah.

Yes. Well, I don't think I ought to

go in because of my liver, too.

(HUMMING)

Oh, I think that'll do for today.

(EXCLAIMING)

Hello! Old J's in.

He's got more pluck than I thought.

(LAUGHING)

- Say, is it all right?

- It's lovely. Lovely.

Wouldn't have missed it for worlds.

All it wants is a little determination.

Oh, that's better.

Oh, damn it. My shirt's gone in.

(LAUGHING) Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

Well, I don't see

what's so very funny about it.

His shirt's gone in!

- Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

- Oh, do shut up.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

- Aren't you going to get it out?

- No.

- It's not my shirt.

- It's not his shirt.

It's yours.

You silly cuckoo!

Can't you be more careful?

You're not fit to be in a boat.

George is very dense

at seeing a joke sometimes.

He says I did it on purpose,

which of course I did not.

- Yes, you did.

- No, I didn't.

We'll have a light lunch

and eat properly tonight.

- There's some hard-boiled eggs.

- Jolly good. And the cold beef.

We can start with the potted shrimps

or the dressed crab.

- Or little of each.

- Or little of each

- and bread and butter.

- And some tomatoes.

- And finish off the ham.

- Followed by a bit of cheese.

- Or the tinned pineapple.

- Or the tinned pineapple.

Followed by a bit of cheese.

You're all at sixes and sevens.

When I say dip, dip. Dip!

(BOTH EXCLAIMING)

- Good God!

- Monty.

The thought of lunch

soon set the world to rights,

but it was not to last.

There occurred a most depressing

and tragic setback to our equanimity.

It was Harris

who first realised the situation.

- We forgot mustard.

- What?

No mustard.

Cold beef without mustard?

You hardly ever have mustard.

Well, that's why it's such a blow.

You have mustard habitually

and thoughtlessly.

You hardly know you're having it at all.

But when I want mustard, I want mustard!

This is what comes of

filling the boat up

with lemonade and bath towels

and all that useless clutter.

I knew it was a mistake to have come.

We didn't forget

the tinned pineapple, did we?

What?

Oh, pineapple.

Pineapple, first rate.

Let's have it open.

Right, that's a bit better.

Nothing quite like tinned pineapple.

Puts fresh pineapple in the shade.

It's the juice.

It's more of a syrup, really.

It's not exactly sweet,

it's not exactly bitter.

It's the way it's not exactly crunchy

and yet it's firm and clean-tasting.

Where's the opener?

Well, I'm...

I'm almost sure we've got one.

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