Three Decades of James Bond 007 Page #5

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Hunting!

Right. Now pay attention, 007.

First, your new car, BMW.

Agile, five forward gears,

all-points radar...

self-destruct system...

and naturally,

all the usual refinements.

Now, this I'm

particularly proud of.

Behind the headlights,

Stinger missiles.

Excellent. Just the thing for unwinding

after a rough day at the office.

Need I remind you, 007...

that you have a licence to kill...

not to break the traffic laws.

- I wouldn't think of it.

- Good.

Right. Let's get on

to more practical matters.

A typical leather belt.

Male, size 34, buckle notch.

- Have you finished?

- Yes.

Good. A typical leather belt.

Q, I'm familiar with that device.

Not one with a 75-foot rappelling cord

built into the buckle.

Fire, and out shoots a piton...

followed by a high-tensile wire

designed to support your weight.

I see. And what if I need

additional support?

It's tested for one, 007.

Flight 878 to St. Petersburg.

X-ray document scanner.

A pen.

This is a Class Four grenade.

Three clicks

arms the four-second fuse.

Another three disarms it.

How long did you say the fuse was?

Oh, grow up, 007!

They always said the pen

was mightier than the sword.

Thanks to me, they were right.

Look, let's ask Freddie here

to demonstrate for us.

Here we are.

Sorry about this, Fred.

One... two... three.

Don't say it.

The writing's on the wall?

Along with the rest of him.

Now, 007, do please try

and return some of...

Do please try and return some of

this equipment in pristine order.

Don't touch that!

It's my lunch.

In London,

April's a spring month.

Oh, yeah?

And what are you, the weatherman?

For crying out loud,

another stiff-assed Brit...

with your secret codes

and your passwords.

One of these days you guys

are going to learn just to drop it.

Come on, my car's over there.

- After you.

- Thank you.

Like you said, drop it.

In London,

April's a spring month...

whereas in St. Petersburg

we're freezing our butts off!

Now, is that close enough

for government work?

No. Show me the rose.

Please, no.

All right, all right, all right!

- Muffy?

- Third wife.

- Jack Wade, CIA.

- James Bond, stiff-assed Brit.

- That's a nice move.

- Nice car.

This baby hasn't let me down yet.

She's an ugly little b*tch,

but she gets you there.

Hey, Bond, you do any gardening?

Hand me that wrench, Jimmy?

- What do you know about Janus?

- Zilch. Zipsky.

No one's ever seen him.

But the man's connected up the kazoo.

KGB, military.

Screwdriver.

Rumor has it, he lives on one of

those old Soviet missile trains...

that armored stuff they ran around

the country so we couldn't target them.

Want to hand me

that hammer, Jimbo?

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