Three Decades of James Bond 007

40 min

I beg your pardon.

I forgot to knock.

I'm alone.

Aren't we all?

- You're late, 007.

- I had to stop in the bathroom.

Ready to save the world again?

After you, 006.

James, for England.

For England, Alec.

It's too easy.

Half of everything is luck, James.

And the other half?


- Set timers:
six minutes.

- Six minutes, check.


Closing time, James!

Last call!

Buy me a pint.

This is Colonel Ourumov! Come out

with your hands above your heads!

How original.

Shut the door, Alec!

There's a draft!


Move out. Throw down your weapon

and walk towards me, slowly.

Finish the job, James!

Blow them all to hell!

You have ten seconds.


nine... eight...

seven... six...


four... three... two...

For England, James!

Hold your fire!

You'll blow the gas tanks!

This is your last chance.

Come out with your hands above your...


You can't win.

Get out there! Move!

Move it!

Hold your fire!


James, is it really necessary

to drive quite so fast?

More often than you'd think.

I enjoy a spirited ride

as much as the next girl, but...

- Who's that?

- The next girl.

James, stop this! Stop it!

I know what you're doing.


What's that, dear?

You are just trying to show off

the size of your, your...

- Engine?

- Ego.

We're having a pleasant drive, and

you've got to bring psychology into it.

I was just sent here

to evaluate you.

Let's try and put that

behind us, shall we?

Ladies first.

- James, I want you to stop this car.

- Really?

Stop this car at once!

As you can see, I have no problem

with female authority.

James, you're incorrigible.

What am I going to do with you?

Well, let's toast your evaluation,

shall we?

A very thorough evaluation.

Madame wins.

Bet, Mademoiselle? No?


Bets, ladies and gentlemen?

No players?

It appears we share the same passions.

Three, anyway.

I count two.

Motoring and baccarat.

Seven. Madame wins.

I hope the third

is where your real talent lies.

One rises to meet a challenge.

Madame stands with five.

Six. Madame loses.

Enjoy it while it lasts.

The very words I live by.

And what words do you live by?

The trick is to quit

while you're still ahead.

That's one trick I've never learned.

Perhaps you'll show me how it's done.

Vodka martini.

Shaken, not stirred.

And for you?

The same.

How do you take it?

Straight up, with a twist.

Thank you, Mr... .?

The name's Bond.

James Bond.

Xenia Zaragevna Onatopp.

- Onatopp?

- Onatopp.

Your accent, Georgian?

Very good, Mr. Bond.

- You've been to Russia?

- Not recently.

I used to drop in occasionally.

Shoot in and out.

It's very different now,

a land of opportunity.

With a new Ferrari in every garage?

No, not quite.

That belongs to a friend.

A tip for your friend:

The French registration plates for this

year's model start with the letter 'L. '

Even the counterfeit ones.

Oh. And what rank

do you hold...

with the Motor Vehicles Department,

Mr. Bond?


- Shall we go?

- This one is an Admiral.

I like a woman

who enjoys pulling rank.

Nice to meet you, Mr. Bond.

The pleasure, I'm sure,

was all mine.

Transmission begins from Moneypenny.

Identification confirmed:

Onatopp, Xenia. Ex-Soviet fighter pilot.

Current suspected links to the

Janus crime syndicate, St. Petersburg.

Yacht Manticore is leased to

a known Janus corporate front.

M authorizes you

to observe Miss Onatopp...

but stipulates no contact

without prior approval.

End transmission. Moneypenny.

Good night, James.

I trust you'll stay

'on-a-topp' of things.

Xenia, I can't breathe!

Yes! Yes!

My respects, Admiral.

Delighted to have you aboard,


Ladies and gentlemen...

please take your seats on the upper deck

for the demonstration of the aircraft.

What you are about

to see in operation...

is Europe's answer

to the electronic battlefield:

the first working prototype

of the Tiger helicopter.

Uniquely maneuverable, the Tiger

not only uses stealth technology...

it is the only helicopter

to be hardened against...

all forms of

electronic interference...

radio jamming

and electromagnetic radiation.

I have a small surprise from

your friends back at the barracks.

I think I've gone to heaven.

Not yet.

Now please welcome the pilots.

Lieutenant Commander

Bernard Jaubert...

and Lieutenant Francois Brouse.

Select Mir.

Autographic projection.

Compute possible intercept

with second stage geo-sat two.


He wouldn't know a woman

if one came up and sat on his head.


- Boris!

- What?

I thought I'd post it

on the Internet, no?

- What's the password?

- I made it easy this time.

Even you should be able to break it,

borscht for brains.

All right, all right,

I'll give you a hint.

They're right in front of you

and can open very large doors.

You're such a geek.

Yes, I'm in!

You've hacked into

the U.S. Department of Justice.

Do you know what will happen

if they trace it here?

The Chief of Computers

will call me a genius...

move me to Moscow and give me

a million bucks hard currency.

I think not.

Besides, the Americans are slug-heads.

They'll never detect me.

- You were saying, slug-head?

- Nobody screws with Boris Grishenko!

Spiked them!

Come on, Boris, just hang up.

No way! I spiked them!

All right, what's the password?

I'm not going to tell you.

Okay, let me guess.

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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