Third Star Page #5

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faulty Darth Vaders - made brown

like Ben Kenobi

instead of black.

Unique. Collectable

But he'd lost'em in the storm

The only container to go over board

breaking up on the rocks

Now years later I'm here in Pembrokeshire.

Walking. Trying to clear my head

A lot. And I see these coves you know

and all this ... all this rubbish

It should just be beautiful drift wood,

not all this industrial flotsam and jetsam

but, you know, men should still wear hats

every day, the world's changed

Am ... you were talking about the Chinaman

No, nono .. the brown Vaders should be here

So everyday I started coming down to look

A month went by. Then two. Then three...

I started thinking I was... crazy

But then one morning I found a yogurt pot

It had a 'sell by' date on it:

November 1980

So stuff is being washed up here

from that exact year

- Obviously, I kept on looking

- Obviously

A year, two years. Still no Brown Vaders

- And then last month ...

- No!

No, but ...

It's a light saber.

from a Darth Vader made between 1980 and 1981

They're here ...

- I never heard anything like it in my whole life!

- That makes two of us

- I need a piss

- No! Let me

- I'm dying to see James's cock, it's been ages

- I'm going down there!

- Your friend is ill

- No, he's just excitable

Not him, the other one

Yes. He's got cancer. It's terminal

Right. I lost a friend to cancer.

My best friend ever

- Sorry.

- It's not your fault

Its just really really, really, really,

really, really unlucky.

- Right.

- I have other friends

People find me attractive

But I started looking for a new best friend

from my existing friends and

then acquaintances, and then new people

- How long are you gonna carry on looking?

- For a new best friend?

- No, for the ...

- Oh

No I tend to look for things. I'm okay

Great to be needed. Isn't it?

I'd forgotten

- Maybe you're one of the lucky ones

- Yeah

- Rare ... a gift. There already

And good

- Thank you, I ... thank you

- No. Thank YOU

- Where are you going?

- To sh*t

Enjoy your walk

- I LOVE that dude!

- I really thought he was going to kill us

Possibly f*** us. And then eat us

- He could turn around and stalk us

- He was ... I don't know he was actually

Davy. Did he touch your private place?

Okay, that is wrong

It's the third star to the right

and then straight on till morning

- Well I thought it was second star

- Well, f***, the one of the lot

You've been hitting the morphine

kind of hard

Guys! If this weather keeps up, how about we

anchored down here for an extra night?

No. I have to get back to work

I still think we're carrying too much stuff

I mean.. the fireworks

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