Think Like A Man Page #6

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Deep down inside, she's thinking...

This is some silly-ass sh*t.

What the hell?

No wonder Jeremy hasn't proposed yet,

he hasn't gone through puberty.

It's time for a little spring cleaning.

You first.

No, no. That's your problem, Gail.

You don't never want to listen,

you just want to talk.

What'd I say?

I said I'm gonna be there tomorrow.

No, no, no. Listen, Gail...

- I'm not gonna go back and forth with you.

- Oh, man.

'Cause I'm trying to talk and you ain't gonna

let me say what I... Hello?

Gail?

Did it again. Hung up on me again.

What do you call the three rings of marriage?

No clue.

The engagement ring, the wedding ring,

and the suffer-ring.

Oh, and, in your case, the beat-ing.

This is not the time. You know,

y'all underestimate me because I'm short.

No, it's 'cause you a fool.

What up? What's happening, baby?

The hell's wrong with you?

- You're stoned.

- Yeah, you're high!

Either you're high, or everything

on my eHarmony profile is true.

I'm high off life, gentlemen.

I met this girl.

No, matter of fact, she's not even a girl.

I met a woman.

But you are a woman.

Order up!

Hey, guess who's back. Table eight.

She is way out of your league, Dom.

Ain't no such thing, playboy.

All right, she probably spends more here

in one night than you make in a month.

That's true, but, you know, just think

how much she'll save if I cook for her.

Oh, you crazy.

Dominic. Scallions?

All right, Chef, coming up.

- Well, you look cute. What's going on?

- I do?

- Yes.

- Thank you, that was nice of you.

Just, you know, Duke made Little League,

got a new laptop, met a guy.

I think I'm gonna try the white sea bass.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Met a what?

A guy.

A real one? Not a blow-up doll?

Okay, don't look so surprised. It's not that...

Honey, I'm just saying,

it's been two years since your divorce.

And three, maybe four, since you had sex.

I said I met a guy, Lauren,

I didn't say I was changing my last name.

Yet.

I need all the details, honey. Now. Spill it.

- Is she hot?

- Pure fire.

Does she got real big titties?

Yeah, what's the rack like?

Tell us about the rack.

The rack. Definitely some white boy sh*t.

It is white boy sh*t. We love breasts.

You're not even white, Bennett. You're clear.

- He's got kind eyes. Soulful.

- Yes!

He's sensitive.

I know she got a fat ass.

She got that JLo, Serena Williams mash up.

Ass so big, I could hide underneath it

if it was raining.

- That's way too much ass.

- No such thing.

Damn right, it ain't. The bigger, the better.

But it wasn't just a physical attraction,

it was intellectual.

He loved

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks.

He bought one for his mom's book club.

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