The Young Offenders Page #2

Get outta the way!

Move, will you?!

Get outta the way!

Already going to hell,

just pumping that gas

All I wanna do is...

And a...

And take your money

All I wanna do is...

And a...

And take your money

All I wanna do is...

And a...

Bollocks!

All I wanna do is...

And a...

And take your money.

- Conor, what the f***?

- He was being a cock.

You're being a cock.

Mam had me when she was 16,

which was old for

our neighbourhood.

No-one showed her

how to be a mam,

and she's awful at it.

So she tries to make up for it

by doing things she thinks

a mam should do,

like stitching my name

in all my clothes.

I find another pair of

his jocks in her room,

I'll cut the balls off him,

do you hear me?

Do you seriously think I'm

riding that dopey-looking fella?

Come on!

You better be wearing johnnies

or I'll be the one

who cuts them off!

Jock got his nickname 'cause he

only has one pair of underwear.

He's forever borrowing mine.

Nice one.

He's saving up so me and him

can move out of home

and rent a flat in the city.

That is, if his old fella

would ever stop nicking

all his savings.

What are you doing in here?

My old man died when I was four.

He was on a building site

when it happened.

Some d*ckhead dropped a hammer

off the roof.

Jock's mam died only last year.

I think that's kind of why

we get each other, do you know?

You need to cut

closer to the bone.

I mean, how many times

do I have to tell you?

You're useless, you know that?

We both have shitty

one-parent families.

That's my money.

I need it.

It's my money.

You're watching

the 1:
00 news.

And here are the main stories.

Police are searching

the coastline of West Cork

for an estimated 440 million

euros worth of cocaine

that went overboard in what is

the country's largest ever

drug seizure.

The floating bales of cocaine

have attracted

what the Gardai are referring

to as 'treasure hunters'

hoping to hit the jackpot.

- Where's that going on?

- Three Castle Head.

It's the biggest treasure hunt

in the history of the state.

Look at them lads.

Gardai warn that any of these

so-called 'treasure hunters'

will be serving

guaranteed jail time.

Are you gonna pay me this time?

Don't I always pay you?

I've never seen someone

so passionate about hating

as Mam is about hating Jock.

Oh, Christ.

There's loads of animals

in here, aren't there?

It's a market, Jock.

Jock, on the other hand,

loves me mam.

Ah, f*** it, Jock!

- Does it hurt?

- Yeah, it does hurt!

I tell him she's only joking

when she says mean things

so he doesn't get

his feelings hurt.

- See that?

- Yeah?

That's called a suckerfish.

That's gonna be

your nickname in prison.

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