The Young Offenders

Synopsis: Inspired by the true story of Ireland's biggest cocaine seizure in 2007, The Young Offenders is a comedy road movie about best friends Conor and Jock, two inner-city teenagers from Cork who dress the same, act the same, and even have the same bum-fluff mustaches. Jock is a legendary bike thief who plays a daily game of cat-and-mouse with the bike-theft-obsessed Garda Sergeant Healy. When a drug-trafficking boat capsizes off the coast of West Cork and 61 bales of cocaine, each worth 7 million euro, are seized, word gets out that there is a bale missing. The boys steal two bikes and go on a road trip hoping to find a missing bale which they can sell so as to escape their troubled home lives....But Sergeant Healy is in hot pursuit.
Director(s): Peter Foott
Production: Vico Films
  11 wins & 9 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
83 min


Imagine if we had

a million euros.

What would you like to do?

Think of something.

Pick anything at all.

What would you like to do?

You've put me on the spot. Um...

Anything. Like, come on.

I don't know.

Like, what's the budget?

1 million. I just said it.

Uh... do you want me to choose

an activity or an object?

Whatever you wanna do,

just pick something!

I don't know! Like, skydiving?


Not a bad idea, go skydiving.

I'll get you a plane

and a parachute

and you can skydive

whenever you want.

- Oh!

- Where'd you like to live?


Mansion, grand.

We living at City Hall?

The Lord Mayor lives there,


Well, yeah, we won't actually

live IN the City Hall

but we'll make a gaff just like

City Hall, know what I mean?

And we put it... we put it there.

Yeah, yeah, build our home

right here.

- Looking over the city.

- Mansion looking over the city.

- We'd need a butler or...

- Yeah, to clean the house.

We'd get one of them

fellas like...

- Batman?

- Yeah, he could run the gaff.

With his English accent!

He'd be unbelievable.

Imagine waking up

to that every morning.

Yeah, right?

"Alright? What's happening?"

"Alright, alright?

What you want for breakfast?"

"You want some tea, son?"

So cool, right?

We could have our own cave

as well, like the Batcave.

- We'd call it the Boys Cave.

- The Boys Cave.

We'd have pool tables,

pinball machines...

- Lava lamps.

- Loads of lava lamps.

- Big gold walls.

- Big gold walls.

- Furry curtains.

- Furry curtains.

Loads of girls with their

tits out lying across the couch.

Like... like Spanish girls?

Yeah, yeah! Spanish girls.

We'd look like legends

wherever we went.

Sounds amazing.

That handsome-looking fella

there is me, Conor MacSweeney.

And that's me best pal, Jock.

It's the summer of 2007.

We're both 15 and just after

finishing the junior cert.

For any of you not from Ireland,

all you need to know is

it's a load of bollocks.

I live on the north side

of Cork city with me mam.

Oh, f*ck it.

I was, uh...

..having a bad dream.

No wonder you're always late.

We're leaving in five minutes.

Five minutes.

And give me two

for the wife as well.

- So four?

- Give me four.

Alright, love?

Mam's a fishmonger

in the English Market.

I'm in working with her

for the summer.

We're actually getting on

better than usual.

Conor, you fancy doing

a bit of work?

What are you getting paid for?

Come on. For f*ck's sake.

Jock is sort of...


Let's just say if you leave

your bike locked to a lamppost

within five miles

of where he lives,

it's your own fault.

He's the kind of fella

who'd do anything for a friend.

Like that time I bumped into

Billy Murphy...

Hi, how's it going?

Give me your fuckin' phone!

..and he wanted to

borrow me phone.

Billy's the local nut job.

What school did you go to?

- St Pats.

- St Pats.

Did you go to St Pats as well?

Didn't go to school, huh?

Jock found this great site

on the internet

that can make masks

of anyone you want.

Alright, Billy?

He then went to nick the bike

from outside the Garda station

which belonged to

Sergeant Healy.

He's a bit like a shit Serpico.

- F*ck.

- Don't fucking move!

- Get down on the fucking ground!

- Healy hates bike thieves.

He treats them

like proper criminals.

..or you're going in the river!

Get the f*ck off the bike.

- Get your Micky off my back.

- Shut the f*ck up.

D'you understand the reason

for your arrest?

- I do, yeah.

- Ya prick.

When the shades raided

Billy Murphy's gaff looking

for Healy's bike, they ended up

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Peter Foott

Peter Foott (born September 29, 1976) is an award-winning Irish director, producer and screenwriter known for his work on The Young Offenders. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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