The Wedding Video Page #4

guests then it's fine.

Tim. People often refer to me

as the human Las Vegas.

But if Saskia were any city in the world,

what city would she?

Oh, eh, I don't know.

- Leicester?

- Leicester?

- You're not meant to be able to hear--

- What's wrong with Leicester?

- Le... I mean...

- it's bright, it's central.

- It's got great connections.

- Oh.

- It's nice. Have you ever been?

- No. Fair enough.

- Right, put those on.

- I guess I am 'Leicester'.

- Put that there. Thank you.

- Thank you.

Right. Tim.

What's the most embarrassing thing that's

happened during sexual intercourse?

- Don't you dare answer that.

- You're not meant to be...

- Ow! Turn it down. Jesus.

- Tim.

What does Saskia think

is your most irritating habit?

She'd probably say

I don't really have any.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah.

- Final answer?

- Yeah.

Okay.

Saskia.

What is Tim's most irritating habit?

Oh, God. Snoring.

No? Did he say rolling down,

when he rolls down the cereal packet?

Counting my drinks? No.

When he puts the toilet paper in a 'V'.

That's really...

Oh, no, did...

did you think I was gonna say...

He folds up his dirty underwear

before he puts it in the laundry.

I don't actually find that annoying.

I think it's funny.

- It makes sense.

- Yeah, I know.

You fold it, you get more

in the laundry basket.

I thought maybe you thought

that's what I thought--

Many people find getting married

is a time to re-examine their atheism.

- Hallo.

- Oh, hi.

- Reverend Dobbs? Tim.

- Tim, how are you?

- Hi, Saskia. Hello.

- Hello.

Oh, sorry. This is, um,

this is the best man.

He's just doing like a film thing

for the wedding.

No, no, that's fine. That's fine.

I'm quite used to being in front of

a camera.

- Oh, sh*t.

- Um, would you like to come in?

Welcome... to Damascus.

- Right, so--

- This is it.

Mary said to Joseph,

"I don't think this is our donkey".

That little boy.

- Every time.

- That's really good.

Cool, so um,

could we, so the wedding, is that...

The wedding.

- Of course, sorry, the wedding.

- I suppose we were thinking...

Right.

So...

are you both virgins?

Well, um...

Your face.

- Wow.

- Every time. Every time.

Now, Saskia wasn't

the only bride that summer.

Also getting hitched was Zanna.

Daughter of Alex's friend slash rival

Jacqui Mercedes Franchise.

All right, yeah.

The best things in life are free

After a perfect ceremony

and a awless dove release,

experts were predicting this would be

the Cheshire wedding of the year.

- Gold leaf champagne?

- Oh, wonderful.

Cheshire mushroom. Picked this

morning by the groom.

- Really?

- Complimentary camera?

Lovely.

- Frozen sugared rose petals.

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