The Weather Man Page #4

when I can.

I have some time this week if you want

to go back up to Bolingbrook.

- What's in Bolingbrook?

- Sportsman's. The archery range.

- Okay.

- Okay? You wanna go?

Okay, I remember it.

Well, do you wanna go back up?

Sometimes.

What's gonna happen?

What?

What are we gonna do here?

Great stuff.

Ladies and gentlemen, on your marks!

Let's go team Spritz!

Get set!

Go!

Go! Go! Go!

- Just keep up, Shell. Come on.

- I'm trying to.

We should finish.

We're last. We're way last.

There's a lesson here. Let's finish.

I'm hurt.

Hon, you can do it.

You can finish. Okay?

I don't want you to quit.

It's gonna mean a lot to Dad. Okay?

All right.

Let's go.

That's my girl. That's it.

Good. I'm proud of you.

Okay?

Yay! That was great!

Hon. Hon, you okay?

You shouldn't have made me finish!

That was like 100 yards

you made me go.

I'm not a football-jocker.

What happened?

Just... We got tangled up in a sack.

- What happened?

- She tore her ACL.

These f***ing crutches are too long!

- What did you say?

- Shelly!

- Well, what were you doing?

- It was a picnic.

- And she tore something?

- ACL. MCL.

Which?

Both.

- Dave!

- Well, we didn't go bungee jumping!

It was a f***ing potato-sack race!

- That's where she got it.

- What?

"F***ing" this. "F***ing" that.

No, I never said that around her.

You don't know you have, Dave,

because you don't pay attention!

F*** that.

What?

- Just f*** that, Noreen. You know...

- Dave.

- What?

- Step back.

- Step back?

- Step back.

What are you talking about, Russ?

- Russ...

- Step back right now.

- F*** you, right now.

- F*** you, Spritz.

F*** you, fat a**hole!

Dildo!

David, what are you doing?

I'm talking to my wife!

I'm talking to Noreen...

and this clown,

whose business this isn't.

You call me a dildo,

it is my business, Spritz.

You are a dildo, pork-f***. You porker!

Stop, Son.

Would you?

Why don't you go?

Why are you here? Are you okay?

I came to talk to Noreen.

Dave, come on. I will talk to you later.

- Dave, what's going on, Son?

- It's nothing. Just...

Why are you here, anyway?

I came to talk to Noreen

about an issue concerning Shelly.

Well, you can talk to me.

I'm her parent, too. So? What?

Shelly dresses in clothing

not appropriate for her...

clinging stuff.

All kids wear...

Dad, it's a different generation.

They call her camel toe.

- What?

- Are you aware of that?

What?

That her colleagues call her camel toe.

What are you talking about?

It means the crease in her vagina...

that they can discern

through her clothing.

- What?

- Camel toe.

Yeah, I heard you.

I mean, how do you know they do that?

I heard it.

I picked Shelly up on Wednesday,

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