The Weather Man Page #3

What is a Frosty?

A Frosty is a shake from Wendy's.

Why would someone throw

a shake at you?

- That happens sometimes.

- People throw shakes at you?

Stuff. People throw stuff

at me sometimes...

- if they don't like me, or something.

- They don't know you.

- If they don't like me, or something.

- They don't know you.

From TV.

But you just read the weather.

Well, I predict it.

You don't have a degree in meteorology.

I make suppositions, or I...

What are you doing?

- I walked over.

- You walked? It's freezing.

I have lymphoma, David.

What?

I have lymphoma.

- Doctor Pritch called.

- What?

I was having tremors.

That's the reason that I went in.

Pritch read my scans.

- What's the prognosis?

- Well, it's not good.

We'll talk about it this week.

I wanted to tell you.

Yeah.

I'll call you

after I've talked to Pritch again.

I'll drive you home.

I like the fresh air.

- Well, I'll walk back with you.

- No, that's okay.

Okay.

Every couple months,

someone throws something at me...

a shake, a burrito once.

Why? My name, partly, I guess.

I changed it for professional reasons.

My first station manager suggested it.

He said it sounded refreshing

and that they wanted that quality.

That may be true, but it's also annoying.

I know that.

What kind of name is Spritz?

It's a bullshit name. It's a TV name.

He's bullshit.

Well, I like him. He's handsome.

He's an a**hole.

I don't like his face.

His a**hole face.

The other thing, my job is very easy.

Two hours a day,

basically reading prompts.

I make $240,000 a year...

plus appearances...

which are, you know,

not comfortable for me...

but lucrative.

"Four score and seven years ago...

"our fathers brought forth,

on this continent..."

Also, it makes other things easy,

being on TV.

Everything's easy.

Yeah!

I receive a large reward for pretty much

zero effort and contribution.

The shakes and stuff

are a reaction to that, I think.

What must you think of me?

Your family-leaver.

Your non-meteorologist,

yet weatherman...

frosty-taking, f***-happy son.

Don't die yet, Robert.

Give me time to get it together.

Give me a little while.

Let me get the Hello America job.

I can get it together.

Two for High Water.

- I got mine, Don.

- No, it's cool. I got it.

Thanks.

Tricia's a b*tch.

She's a little c*nt.

I hate that little c*nt.

I'd like to burn her.

Hi.

Hi.

Today's the company party.

I thought I'd take the kids.

Oh.

Well, Mike is out.

- Shelly's home?

- She's walking Jackson.

- Where do you want to take them?

- The rink. WCH.

Hey.

Hey.

What?

Dave.

Hey, Tim.

- I didn't know you were coming.

- I always come to these...

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