The Ugly Truth: The Art of Laughter - A Making of Hilarious Proportions Page #5

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He wasn't

sexually harassing me.

I am an award-winning

news producer.

I am an award-winning

news producer.

I am an award-winning

news producer.

I am an awa...

You're an award-winning

news producer.

You don't knock?

Well, I did knock.

You didn't answer.

So essentially,

your knock was negated

by your complete

lack of adherence

to the social etiquette

that follows a knock.

[CHUCKLES]

You're wound like a f***ing top.

Woof, woof.

Remember the bark?

Last night, a little

phone conversation we had.

Yeah. Hey, what do you know?

You're not ugly at all.

Oh, well,

imagine my relief.

I want to thank you

for getting me this gig.

I would never have gotten it

without you.

You and I, we make good TV.

You make imbecilic trash

watched by housebound

inbreds who are so busy

with their hands

down their pants,

they can't change the remote.

I hadn't been picturing you

that way, but it's a nice image.

I do not watch

your program.

My cat stepped

on the remote.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Oh, you want to thank

your p*ssy for me, then?

Ugh!

Larry, Georgia, listen to me.

I want you to skewer him.

I want Mike Chadway

to go down in flames.

I want Mike Chadway to be

nothing but a pile of ash

on the seat next to you.

I want the janitor to come in

and vacuum up the ashes

of Mike Chadway

with his Dustbuster

and when he dumps it

in the Dumpster outside,

I want the rats to vomit

and defecate

on the ashes of Mike Chadway.

Wow. And I thought

you were angry and bitter.

Uh, no, Larry, that would be

my untouched vagina.

- [MAN]:
Chadway?

- What?

Twenty seconds to air.

[WOMAN]:

About ready? Larry?

There's a bird

in my dressing room.

[MAN]:

I'll take care of it.

- A real bird?

- Yeah. It's flying around.

Why is there a bird

in his dressing room?

I don't know

what type of bird it is.

Security here is awful.

You guys have really got

to keep the doors closed.

[MAN]:

Four, three...

[MUSIC PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]

Good morning, everyone,

I'm Larry Freeman.

Another beautiful day

in Sacramento.

And I'm sitting here

with a beautiful woman.

- [CLIFF]:
Go, 1.

- [STUART]:
All right, here we go.

[GEORGIA LAUGHS]

[GEORGIA]:

Thank you, Larry.

Hi. I'm Georgia Bordeney.

[CLIFF]:

Ready for the single on Georgia.

For years,

there have been concerns

about lowering

television standards.

But many believe that this man

and his local

public-access show

have brought things

to a new low.

With that,

we welcome Mike Chadway.

How you doing, guys?

Mike, how do you respond

to people

who say your show is offensive?

Well, it is.

But then again, so is the truth.

Ha. The truth about what,

Mr. Chadway?

What relationships

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