The Toxic Avenger: The Musical Page #4

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Good Earth Corporation that's

been polluting our town!

- What, who?

- You!

- What?

- You own the Good Earth Corporation.

- I deny it.

- Oh yeah?

In my hand I have the

official town records!

- What, but, I hid those records

in the town library, and

I hired a blind librarian.

(audience chuckling)

- Madam Mayor, change your evil ways,

or I'll be forced to take these records

to the District Attorney!

(thumping)

Oh!

- You wouldn't!

- Yesterday I wouldn't, but now,

the love of a woman has

taught me to fight the power!

- F***!

(audience chuckling)

All right, all right.

Let me think, think think...

All right, I got it.

(sultry music)

Melvin, there's really no need for you

to go do the DA handsome.

- There's not?

- Nooo, 'cause...

You're just a Jersey boy

Who I want to

(gagging)

(audience snickering)

Employ

- Employ?

I'll make you my deputy

Deputy gonna be my deputy

- Oh wow really?

How 'bout a badge for my chest

- Sure!

Boy Sarah's gonna be impressed

Who is Sarah

- She's the blind libr--

Wait, I don't care

I don't care I don't care I don't care

Come back to tomorrow pop

Now let's get all this cleaning up

(mumbles) from this toxic nightmare

Gee I'm gonna be a

Deputy

- Oh my god, thank you!

(tense music)

Sluggo!

- Yeah, Auntie Mayor?

- His name is Melvin

(dramatic music)

Ferd

(dramatic music)

the third.

(dramatic music)

Spill his blood

Spill his guts

He found me out, that little putz

It's time for you to

pray upon the weak

Make him scream

(grunting)

Make him beg

Well, good luck, break a leg

Get juiced and drug induced

And get the geek

(laughing)

Get the, get the geek

Get the, get the geek

All the scumbags I will nab

With my badass deputy badge

Melvin Ferd is on a winning streak

- What?

There's a hero coming your way

I'll get the girl and save the day

And I won't be some circus freak

Get the geek, get the geek

Not (mumbles)

Hello, hello geek

- Uh-oh!

(laughing)

Goodbye

Goodbye geek

- Listen fellas, I'm on a vital

mission to save Tromaville!

Get the, get the geek

Get

The

Geek

(clanging)

- [Melvin] Hey, hey fellas,

this stuff could kill me!

(laughing)

- We ain't gonna kill 'ya!

- No, we're just gonna

dip in your nosey nose.

(chuckling)

- What have I done?

- You've been boffing the mayor!

- [Melvin] Oh, I won't

bop her again, I promise!

Please, please, just don't drop me!

- All right, the

butt-face got the message.

- Should we let him go.

- Yeah, let him go (chuckles).

(Melvin screaming)

(squishing)

(audience snickering)

By let him go, I meant, let him go free!

- Oh...

(audience chuckling)

I hate it when phrases have two meanings!

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