The Stepford Wives Page #4

- Oh, yeah, it figures.

Dave brought us here

because of land values.

He's best in bed

when the market's up.

I think I'll break into

Walter's Scotch.

Hey, hey, hey, you know something,

I'm gonna like you.

Yeah.

A messy kitchen. It's beautiful.

A home away from home.

Oh, my, of course,

it doesn't compare to mine.

You haven't got

any of those magnificent

peanut-butter handprints

all over your cabinets yet.

But then, you're new here,

and Stepford wasn't ruined in a day.

Hello, Hi-C.

Hey, you want a Ring Ding?

I smuggled it over the border.

- What year is it?

- '59, a collector's item.

- It'd be great with Scotch.

- Yeah.

Two things I always carry:

Tampax and Ring Dings.

And I don't even wanna

think what that means.

I'll tell you. Thanks.

I can't figure out this burg.

It's like maids have been

declared illegal,

and the housewife

with the neatest place

gets Robert Redford for Christmas.

And believe me,

if that's the prize, I'd enter,

but nobody will tell what

the contest rules are.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

Not to mention that

creepy Men's Association.

- Yours too?

- Every night.

Dave wouldn't miss.

- What do you think they do up there?

- Watch dirty movies

and reminisce about

the good old days.

What good old days?

Like those good old days when

Playboy used the airbrush.

Ring Dings and Scotch,

great combination.

- We may have started something.

- I'll drink to that, cheers.

Totally disgusting.

- Don't you like it?

- I don't know which one I like the best.

You're very honest. That's what

I like about you. It's awful.

Hey, it's me.

And I'm here, and I'm on

the New Projects committee.

Yeah, New Projects.

Well, how would you feel about some

of the guys meeting at our house?

- Well, like now, tonight.

- Well, OK.

Yeah, that'd be great. I actually get

to see you and some living people.

- Give me a few minutes, huh?

- We'll be along in about 20 minutes.

All right. Bye-bye.

- She'd love it.

- Good.

You're not altogether sure about

Stepford yet, are you, Walter?

No, no, that's not true.

I think I am. It's...

It's a big change.

You've got to admit that.

A change for the better, Walter.

See, I intend to really fix

this place up, you know.

I thought I'd...

...make it into sort of

a den-cum-playroom.

Maybe I'll put the pool table

right over there.

I thought I'd go to town, you know,

really spoil myself.

It'd be great for the kids.

Well, who's talking about the kids?

This is a playroom.

They ain't gonna be allowed in.

I like to watch women

doing little domestic chores.

You came to the right town.

Who was the one wanted tea?

Claude.

Claude Axhelm.

- He's the one who...

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