The Starving Games Page #3

also in the Games.

In the Games with you?

Aww.

Aww.

Well, go on.

Well...

it's a person

I've been wanting

to get closer to

for a long time.

You son of a b*tch.

So...

tall,

with beautiful eyes

and a smoking

hot bod, but...

you know,

more than anything,

this person's

got a lot of heart.

Aww.

Aww.

Well, you must tell us.

Who is it?

It's Marco!

Me?

Heh.

Huh?

Huh?

Let's hear it

for Peter.

You little sh*t!

I'm gonna stick

a foot in your ass!

Ohh! Jeez.

What the hell

was that about?

It's called

building an alliance.

Haven't you ever watched

"Survivor" or "Big Brother"?

- Aah!

- When's--

When was the last time

you trimmed your toenails?

Ohh.

And now, for our

final contestant,

from District 12,

Kantmiss Evershot.

Whoo!

Let's take a look.

Kantmiss is the best

big sister in the world.

She takes care of me.

She feeds me. She clothes me.

She even reads to me.

Ever since Dad died,

Mom's been

a little bummed out,

but that doesn't stop the three of

us from having a whole lot of fun.

From the first time

I saw Kantmiss, I knew.

I knew she was

the one for me.

She's got class.

She's a real lady.

Oh, my God.

Ohh!

Oh, my God.

Ohh!

Ohh!

Isn't that

just touching?

Aww.

Aww.

Let's bring her out,

shall we?

Kantmiss Evershot!

So, Kantmiss,

that's quite a dress.

Give us a little spin.

Heh. Go on.

Don't be shy.

Very nice.

Oh.

Wow, I'm getting word

that flames

actually ignite

from the dress.

Flames?

Oh! ! Oh!

- Oh, my God.

- Oh,.

Oh, . Aah!

Why are you clapping,

you stupid?!

Aah!

- I'm on fire!

- I'm on fire!

Let's hear it for Kantmiss,

the girl on fire!

Ah,!

It's on fire!

It's on fire! It burns!

I'm on fire!!

Good morning, sport fans,

and welcome to the 75th

annual Starving Games.

I'm your host Bob Hylox,

and with me is my sidekick

and color commentator,

Cleaver Williams.

Cleaver, how you doing?

Excited about

today's Games?

Fantastic.

Cleaver is a past

Games winner, of course.

In fact, Cleaver,

why don't you tell everybody

in the district watching,

how you got

that delightful nickname.

I used a meat cleaver

to kill everyone.

Still got the old moves.

Hello, Siri.

Hello, Seleca.

How's it hanging, boo?

Low and to the left.

Good one.

All right.

Looks like the contestants

have taken the field.

All right, Siri,

cut to the field.

Say your prayers, my son,

'cause you are dead.

And the countdown

has begun.

30,

29...

Oh, God.

28...

27...

Hmm?

26...

25...

24,

23,

22...

21...

Now, it's very important

that the contestants

don't move

off the silver circles

before zero.

Otherwise, kablammo,

as the field is booby-trapped

with explosives.

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